Dance Moms Rewind Part 2: More Life Lessons And Helpful Tips From The Pages Of The ALDC Survival Guide.

June 25th, 2014

Pssst…

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Wait.  What?  Are you messing with me?
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Dance Moms is back?  Really?  OMG.  Shut.  Up.

fDaXui9Because that would be totally…

tumblr_n08yj1TcVT1trnwyzo1_500It’s no secret I’ve been a little off my game without my show.  More than a little, maybe.

Tumblr_mls5srHy611rrhylyo2_500Hold up.  Got a little too excited.  You’re telling me that there’s still one month to go…?

abby-lee-miller-dance-moms-shaking-head-faceSeriously?  Another month?

tumblr_n0fpjabors1ql5yr7o1_500I mean, really.  I don’t.

tumblr_m324l7IK1Y1qml33sBut I guess this gives us time to reflect on a few more lessons learned at the ALDC.

159157603dd2f4e278f6a980c398fabcLike when Abby taught us how to land a man.

tumblr_mgxmj4pdcO1s1k0b4o1_500You know dat’s rite, gurl.

tumblr_lruudm0ev61qziwr5Werk it.  But also know when to draw the line before that s*** gets nasty.

tumblr_mad73adwWl1rgsnbgo1_500Dr. Holly taught us that a sassy new hairdo can kick up any outfit a notch or two.

hollyThe whole makeover process is fairly simple, actually.

tumblr_m83gteIgRi1ql5yr7o1_400That first one probably deserves repeating.

fix-that-face-sheree1And I don’t think we need another discussion about getting a sistah’s hair wet, do we?

giphy-5Yup.  I think we’re done here.

Dance-moms-season-3-episode-13-holly-wrapKelly taught us anger management. But be careful what you say, honey…

tumblr_lxm6b5BEVs1qmsq6v…cuz you never know who’s listening.  (She totally heard you.)

giphy-6That’s why sometimes it’s easier to just fake it.  No one will ever know.

tumblr_malve13KLP1ql5yr7o1_400Proper nutrition is also key, no matter when and where you can get it.

Cathy_PizzaYou just need to know where to look.

tumblr_maxoawsY4f1ql5yr7o1_400It’s also important to stay well hydrated.

dancemomsInternally.  And apparently, externally as well.

tumblr_mt0qdenTrg1ql5yr7o4_250And when all else fails…just make it rain up in here, bitches. (Photo via MomCrush.com)

dance-moms-090313-62So I guess now we just need to hold it together for one more month.

Tumblr_static_chlo1212Focus on something.  Keep ourselves busy.  Dance Moms will be back soon.

giphy-7I told Lifetime to stop screwing around and now they’re putting our show back on the air.

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Dance Moms Rewind: A Survival Guide Of Life Lessons Learned At The ALDC. Some Old Stuff…Until The New Stuff.

June 14th, 2014

Cut me some slack, people.  It’s better than nothing.

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Not gonna lie.  This whole Dance Moms dry spell kinda caught me off guard.

Wait.  What?  No new episodes?  At first I was all like…

giphy-1Then I think I went into denial or something.
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Until I finally just lost my nutty.  Oh  Hell Nah.

ep17_-_holly_1Luckily, someone let me know it’s only temporary and the show would be back.

tumblr_m5c17dxjfa1r43mqxo1_500I tried filling the lonely hours with my other hobby.

Tumblr_lrhm9mOLYu1qgpj81o2_500That was fun for a few weeks, but eventually I got bored.  And pretty bloated.

tumblr_mr4cmpl8nx1r2gixro1_500It was time to stop being such a baby and remember what the ALDC taught us:

toddlers-tiaras-its-time-to-pop-in-your-pappy-L-p_Y69xWalk into work on Monday like a Boss, even when you’re still wearing Friday’s clothes.

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Or make this fiercely fabulous entrance.  PS…This bitch is totally copying Nia.

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Portion control.  Just do it, fercryinoutloud.

Kelly-Stop-Eating-Dance-MomsAwkwardly inappropriate office bromances seem to be more accepted nowadays.

Lifetime_Dance-Moms_0_Boy-Crazy-Mom-Crazy_110864_LF_HD_768x432-16x9Never underestimate the power of a sassy new makeover, mmmkay?

tumblr_inline_mqyz06xPq31qz4rgpI know, right?  So beautiful.  My principal never had zippers on her pant suits.

tumblr_m9fpxdDEXy1r7dslfHow the Laverne & Shirley of our generation made subtlety and noon cocktails a thing.

dance-moms-quotes-christi-116-1And don’t even get me started on Walmart.

Leslie_payton_dsdsI know what you guys are probably thinking by now…

tumblr_lyovjwWxmn1ql5yr7o1_400Of course not.  I mean…well, maybe just a little.

tumblr_m7c3qznboJ1ql5yr7o1_400But I have an amazing poker face, so you’d never know it.

tumblr_static_sdfkj_kendallAll things considered, I think I’m handling the mid-season break pretty well.

1578086874_1785443392001_Lifetime-Dance-Moms-222-Dr-Holly039s-Book-Club-114522-SFOr not, maybe.

Toddlers-and-Tiaras-CryingYeah.  Emotionally…

Tumblr_mjzyabM4nQ1qd9agqo1_500Totally unrelated side note:  This is still the best gif ever in the history of ever.  Werk.

Tumblr_mijdq2cJNl1ql5yr7o1_500So now I guess we should just sit and stare at the TV until Dance Moms returns.

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Sounds like a plan.  You know where to find me.  Buh Bye now.

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Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Rewind: Celebrate 2 Billion Gangnam Style Hits With The Redneck Mashed-Up Classic.

June 1st, 2014

booboostyle

Trust me.

Dolla still make me holla.

But 2 billion youtube hits?  That’s Redneckulous.

That’s right.  Park Jae-sangPSY to all us hipsters…and his Gangnam Style dance anthem just crossed the 2 billion views mark.

You heard me.  Billion.  With a ‘B.  Like in ‘Boo Boo.’

Apparently, almost two years later everybody is still doing it Gangnam Style.

So what better excuse to bring back one of the best music video mash-ups evah for your viewing pleasure to celebrate the milestone.

The official Honey Boo Boo Style ReMix.

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You know I still love me some Toddlers & Tiaras.

I miss all that sparkly goodness more every day.  And I’m always up for anything that will help my milkshake bring all the boys to the yard, so to speak.

So naturally, adding some Go-Go Juice to my Gangnam seemed like the next logical step.

Cuz that s*** makes everything even better.

To congratulate Psy, let’s all enjoy another look at Honey Boo Boo Child going Gangnam in the ultimate Korean Redneck ReMix.

It’s like someone took everything inside my brain and made a music video.  Some of my favorite obsessions brilliantly mixed together until they’re smooth as buttah and ketchup.

And, surprisingly, even more tasty the second time they’re served.

It’s like Korean Sketti.  That you can dance to.

And you’re welcome.

Oppa Gangnam Style.

Y’all.

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