DanThat'sCool!

You know that neighbor you have down the street?  The one who always tries to one up you on everything?  You know the one.

Holiday lights.  Snow blowers.  Lawn care.  Power tools.  Car wax.  You name it.  He has to be Da Man, always one upping you.

And now he has the Mother of all Home Theater Systems.  The super turbo version, complete with a remote for the remote.  And you know he totally has one of those vintage looking popcorn machines and all the latest 3D bells and whistles that he could Google online.  And now you have to get up from your 60 inch plasma (so last year, dude…) and that comfy sofa dent to gawk at his new 61 inch on his new dent free sofa.  You grit your teeth and get ready for 3 hours of Avatar in 3D, plus the bonus disc.

Now imagine his face when you show up rocking your new pair of 2D Glasses!

Oh no you di’nt–?!

Dat’s rite.  2D.  As in suck the 3D out of the room and make a movie look like a normal movie again.  So much for the $10,000 Best Buy charge.

I’m thinking that the new 2D glasses were more likely designed for those of us who literally black out or toss our popcorn before the 3D coming soon previews finish rolling, as opposed to sticking it to your neighbor.  Trust me, I am all about the newest, coolest tech and would absolutely get all up into next week’s Apple delivery truck if they let me.  I pretty much am that guy in your neighborhood.

But I can’t do 3D at the IMAX without my Goobers and a giant Diet Coke to wash down some Dramamine.  Hallelooh!  Those days are finally over.  2D glasses are here to save both the day, and the lap of any person unlucky enough to sit next to me during Tron:Legacy.  No more headaches, googly oogly eyeballs or roller coaster rumblies.

Check out the 2D Glasses site.  They are dirt cheap.

Granted, they look like they should come with a plastic Groucho nose attached, but it’s not like anyone will see you once the lights go down and you’re face down in that tub of popcorn.

3D technology is pretty much crashing and burning all around us right now.  And not in the good surround sound way.  Except for that guy in your neighborhood, the public hasn’t really embraced this 3D thing in their home or in the local theaters so far…so if these geeky specs can afford a few more of us the opportunity to see Shrek without bed spins, then I’ll be rocking them like Harry Potter.

These lenses are 2DanCool.

(You gotta admit that’s clever.  Come on.)

We’ve all been there.

Trapped in an elevator for what seems like an eternity, butted up against a slightly moist total stranger as they sweat off their lunch trip to the All You Can Eat Garlic Buffet.  You watch the progress of your ascent, playing the “Can I hold my breath all the way to the top floor without blacking out?” game in your head, as your eyeballs dry out from the burn of the elevator led panel.  You can exhale now.

Australian artist and “body architect” Lucy McRae and more of those uber smart Harvard geeks have all come to our rescue.

Coming soon is a digestible pill that you wash down with your Starbucks (or drink of choice) and…wait for it…your skin will emit perfume scents that smell better than any Vogue magazine sample you’ve ever scammed at Barnes & Noble.

Since I skipped that day in Biology, I can’t really explain it.  But somehow the pill kicks in with your inner workings, and you sweat out a gold film on your skin that smells delish.

I’m pretty sure that you won’t end up looking like a new James Bond villain, or that crazy street performer juggler guy painted in head to toe gold, but the sweating out gold is a little intriguing.

The press release explains it a little more scientifically…

Swallowable Parfum is a capsule that enables human skin to emit a genetically unique scent about who we are and how we perform our identities.  Once absorbed, the skin becomes a platform, an atomizer; a biologically enhanced second skin synthesized directly from the natural processes of the body.

So I guess that means that the more you sweat, the better you smell?  Trust me, if that’s the case, the second these gold nuggets are released to the public I’m plopping them into every 2 liter water jug that those gym RoidRats carry around between grunt sessions.  Seriously, dude?

You totally need to check out the Swallowable Parfum site to really get the full effect.

You’ll find a very DanCool video showing a seriously sweaty golden girl.

No, not Betty White.

I can’t believe you even thought that.

To all of you who have managed to make an Art Form out of wandering aimlessly in circles while attempting to run errands or simply make it from Point A to Point B…I salute you.  It has already been well documented that I could write the eBook on bobble heading around in child like discovery instead of actually paying attention to other pedestrians and incoming traffic, and have somehow so far lived to tell the story.  So I jumped right on this one.

The Photosynth App for iPhone is made for people like us.

There are hundreds of photo panorama apps out there, but most of them end up looking like you scotch taped a bunch of polaroids together on the refrigerator.  That was nifty back when the Brady Bunch went to the Grand Canyon, but it’s 2011, people.  This app is how it should be done.  It’s amazing.  It’s easy to use.  And it’s free.  A triple score.

Plant yourself in one spot and turn on the app.  Then just do what we do best…spin around slowly while looking up and down and right and left.  The app automatically snaps a photo every couple of feet, using a neato overlay marker, so you don’t miss a spot in your panorama.  The more photos you shoot, the bigger and better your photo ends up.  Shoot the subject, the sky, the ground and all the details until you end up back where you started.

That’s it.  Using some kind of high tech software magic that is way beyond me, the photos are stitched together seamlessly and then…wait for it…BAM!…a little bit of your world is now in 3D panorama that you can spin, tilt and show off on your phone, Facebook or the Photosynth website.  It is only available for the iPhone right now, but it’s coming for other systems.  (One, relax…it’s coming.  Two…you should have an iPhone anyway.  Just saying.  Snap.)

But right now I’m still a little light headed from my last 360, so check out the corporate vid on the subject.  You need to see it in action, and they explain it better anyway.  Very DanCool.

SGQ5JQEYAG2Q