Archive for the ‘Pixar’ Category

Carmageddon. In Pixar 3D?

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

“OMG! Not again.       Make all these CARS go away!  Please!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Ryan Seacrest tweets about it, then you know it’s big.

When they bring Eric Estrada out of hiding and squish him into his C.H.I.P.S. (Paunchy) Ponch uniform, then you know it’s big.

When Kim Kardashian takes time out from her beyond over the top, ridiculously expensive wedding plans and leaves Momma Jenner all alone with Bruce helping to ice the swelling from her post surgery face stretch, then you know that…well…then you know that Kim is just being a fame whore again.

Hasn’t Momma J. ever paused and actually taken a good long look at her husband?  She knows that sometimes plastic surgery doesn’t always work out as planned, right?  And I’m thinking that the 5 bazillion dollars that are going towards this wedding could probably vacicnate a kid or two somewhere outside the Rodeo Drive orbit.

So two out of those three celebs predicted the end of the world this month, after literally being asked by law enforcement agents to take to Twitter and spread the word.  Along with a gaggle of other A to D Listers, they were spreading doom and gloom warnings for the last few weeks in reference to the impending end of the Highway World.  It’s going to be epic.  It’s going to be tragic.  It’s going to be the worst thing we’ve ever seen.  It is going to bring the world to a screeching halt.

It’s only a Pixar movie, people.  Chill.  Granted it was a bomb, but I don’t think you need to put the West Coast on lockdown.

Then yesterday as I accidentally stumbled onto CNN, on my way to Bravo after a Jersey Shore Marathon on MTV, I realized that they were talking about the closing of Highway 405 in Los Angeles this weekend. Something about a bridge.  My bad.  I wondered why Ryan Seacrest was getting so worked up over a cartoon, but I figured it was just low blood sugar from the Idol Auditions.

Blah. Blah.  So first, the bad movie part.

Carmageddon: Pixar Style.  Pixar made a bad movie?  Is that a typo?  Sorry to all the Moms and Dads paying out for CARS 2.  No apologies to the kids are required, because they are all going to love it regardless.  It’s Pixar, for crying out loud.  Bright colors, speed, explosions and bad exhaust jokes will have them all leaking oil.  But it’s the parents who will have to sit through this thing while Junior and his Pee Wee League spill popcorn, make those straw sucking noises with their empty cups, and pick JuJuBees out of their back teeth, all while hootting and hollering.

The movie has been pretty much trashed by critics.  Too much Mater, the redneck truck.  It seems almost impossible that a Pixar sequel could (gas) tank, considering their (race) track record and street cred.  But somehow it did.  Don’t go selling your Pixar stock just yet, though.  The movie will still make almost enough money to pay for the Kardashian Weddingpalooza, and still manage to keep the shelves at Walmart in total disarray for weeks.  Maybe not as picked over as the Harry Potter shelves, but still.  (And really, how many versions of a magic stick and black eye glasses can one Taiwanese Factory spit out? Seriously.)  Hopefully everyone will learn their lesson with this movie and send these cars to the junkyard crusher for good.  Drain the radiator guys.  It’s over.

Carmageddon The Sequel: LA Style.  At the same time all the entertainment papers were filled with Mater Haters, LA was threatened with extinction if they ventured out of their condos this weekend and dared step foot or Goodyear on any of the highways.  This was built up almost as much as CARS 2 on the iTunes homepage, and neither of them seem to have produced much action.

The hysteria kind of reminded me of East Coast Snow Day Panic when schools are closed the day before the Storm Of The Century, which of course never materializes the next day, and all the kids go to the Mall.  Good for retail.  Not so much for the future of our country.

No disrespect impied, but until someone from LA brings their fancy car to Fenway Park and sits in that hot mess before a Red Sox Game, I don’t really want to hear it.  Or you’re more than welcome to shift your Beemer into neutral on the bridge to Cape Cod for a few on a 200% Humidity Index summer day, repeating “Please don’t run out of gas.Please don’t run out of gas.Please don’t run out of gas” until you have to breath into your picnic lunch bag.

So Carmageddon was a bust this weekend.

The only thing missing from the Pixar Version: A decent Cars plot.

The only thing missing from the LA Version: Well…Cars, I guess.

Mr. Morris Lessmore iPad App

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

 

It is no secret to anyone that I have sold my soul to Apple.

No secret to my friends.  Or to my family.  Or to strangers on the street.  (“There’s that glassy eyed guy with the Apple Bag.”)  Not even to the Apple Store employees who relentlessly keep coming outside the blinding glass facade to slap me upside the head for putting my face against the windows on Product Launch Days.  Luckily I don’t own a lawn chair or someday I might really cross that line and find myself behind the police barricade, waiting all night for something that I don’t really need and could just as easily order online and have delivered to my nice warm house.  But they don’t serve Apple Koolaid at my house.  And I drink it like I live in a Texas compound with a couple of uni-brow wives.

After years of holding out on that first purchase, just in case this whole internet thing didn’t pan out, the iPod Touch tempted me and I never looked back.  I’m actually thinking of switching to Fruit of the Loom undies strictly because the waistband tab has an big Apple on it.  I know, right?

But regardless of your own personal Apple Threat Level, this new iPad book app is truly A-MAZ-ING.  If you own an iPad, you need to have this on your screen, if for no reason other than to see how far this format has come in such a short time, and how the possibilities for the future seem endless.

If you don’t own an iPad, find someone who does, toss them a fiver, and check out William Joyce’s The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.  Technically I guess it’s considered a children’s book, but if you have any interest in computer graphics & art, writing, tech or anything freakin’ cool, then you will be impressed.  If you have kids, even better.  If you don’t have kids, but can find one in a non-creepy way, then they will love it as well.  But it’s worth the cheap price and the download even if you kick back on your own couch and just chill.

Originally an award winning silent short film in 2010, the story has been recreated for your touch screen in ways never seen before by this former PIXAR designer and Moonbot Studios.  What starts out as a beautifully illustrated book morphs before your eyes into an animated movie that you control with your finger tip.  There are so many things to do and see on this app.  It’s just DanCool.

Check out the vid….



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