It is your Destiny.
With apologies to Comic Con attendees everywhere, allow me to sacrilegiously jumble my Sci Fi icons and paraphrase…
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. EAT BURGERS YOU WILL.
Memorial Day may be the unofficial start of Summer, but try telling that to any Gleek still burning off Snow Days in elementary school. July is when the party starts.
This weekend is when the fun begins. This weekend is when we think about the beach, trashy magazines, those creepy guys in jumpsuits at the State Fair, and BBQs. This weekend is also when we realize that maybe it’s not just Macy’s bad second floor lighting that is making the bathing suit look…umm…not quite right. Please. Halloween was a long time ago. How long are we going to blame it on “We didn’t get very many kids this year?” as we brush Cocoa Munchy Gummy crumbs off our sherbet colored Quacker Factory tshirts?
It’s too late now. Just have fun. Summer is here. Cram it all into last year’s bermudas and unleash it on the public. Slip those sock covered feet into your sandals and rock it. Eat too much and then dive directly into the water to see if you really do cramp and sink to the bottom. Belly up to the grill and help yourself. Someone has to eat that last hot dog, right? Change your mind ten times while you’re in line for ice cream, and then figure out if you can eat the whole thing by the time you walk to the end and jump back in line again! Forget your sunscreen and live on the edge before Mom finds out and coats you with the spf 97 equivalent of wearing two hoodies and WWII fighter goggles.
If nothing else, a 3rd degree sunburn always makes your teeth look a-maz-ing. The emergency room staff will think you’ve been White Strip-ing all winter.
After you are all bloated and aloe coated, if you have the strength, you should totally check out the Vader Project Auction Book from last year’s event. Even if you have never wanted to put Leia donuts in your hair or bellowed “I am your FATHER!” into an empty Slushie cup, you should check out the artwork that went into this Project. The photos and talent, like Dave Pressler’s Patriotic Vader, are definitely very cool.
Have a great 4th! Warp Speed to the cookout. Make it so.