Barbie Gives Good Phone
Finally something for all those previously mentioned Toddlers and Tiara girls to aspire to.
Seems like someone out of touch on the top floor of the Nokia Headquarters thought this would be a great way to promote their new N8 Pink Mobile Phone to a female audience. And I guess to those young men who attend all the Doll & Teddybear conventions. And apparently, to anyone who likes the smell of latex and writing on a naked person with a Sharpie. And not the funny “moustache” squiggles you used to put on your Frat Brother when he was sleeping off a bender on his bed of red plastic cups. The other kind.
With the club hit “Freedom” jamming like last call at The Roxy, Nokia has artfully (?) combined a little bad girl Barbie, good weave Britney, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, kinda sorta Jane Fonda working out, a pink baby deer, a phone bed and some Dirty Nasties into a mini music video that should send Ken skipping back into the waiting arms of G.I.Joe before the second chorus.
Now I am the biggest fan of stop motion animation, dance tunes and buying stuff I don’t need. But. What the–?!
The first thing that this pink mess has going against it is that it’s not an iPhone. Now you finally know where I stand on that argument. Do NOT diss Temple Apple.
Second point being that when I think of mobile phones, I don’t think of little light up boobs and wind machines. Usually.
Third. When Rihanna Barbie is straddling the phone bed, I don’t think she is wearing her bloomers. That’s just nasty.
Four. I’ve already watched this at least ten times.
Girl Power Yes. But this ain’t your big sister’s Powerpuff Girls. And you know this snippet is going totally viral. But not the good kind of viral. More like the pull your bottom lip down and ask someone if they think that sore is the start of N8 Pink Syndrome. That kind of viral. And even Nurse Barbie doesn’t have the antibiotics for that one I am certain.
And what kind of Mom is going jump in the station wagon and gun it to the Mall for this one? Are there really enough Jerry Springer Moms and Baby Daddies who wants their little girl carrying around a Dirty Barbie phone? Is she pulling that thing out at the Food Court to answer her recess pimp? “I thought I told you to pick up your Barbie Booty Phone when I call you, woman? Where’s my lunch money, bitch? You better be wearing your Bieber tshirt when I get home from Band practice.”
Ken, G.I. Joe and that Weinergate guy should stick to playing safe with their Blackberries. This pink thing is just wrong.
Face time me and we can discuss it. I’ll put on the extended remix version for some background chillin’.
Back off Hello Kitty. N8 Barbie will cut you.