The Bachelor: If They Gave Out Roses For Successful Post-Bachelor Rehab. Where Do Broken Hearts Go? The Soup Has The Scoop On Heartbreak.Saturday, March 17th, 2012
Well. It’s over.
Unless you have been on the Moon, or maybe unnecessarily distracted by that whole Presidential Election thing I saw on an iPad app, then you already know that human Muppet Ben Flajnik has fulfilled his contractual obligations and fallen in love.
That’s right. He’s off the market, girls.
The Bachelor finished off what I believe was season #423 with Ben’s woodsy proposal to human WhackNoodle Courtney Robertson, as she giggled her way through what will probably be her final 15 minutes of fame. (Except for the break-up stories, some scandal that will be all over the front cash registers at CVS and the potential of becoming the next Bachelorette, that is.)
As Ben and Courtney ride off into the sunset and the morning talk show circuit, we can’t forget all those who were trampled by Courtney in her relentless pursuit of Ben.
All the rejected. The broken hearted.
All those back home, already updating their Facebook status to “single again” with nothing but memories and an empty bud vase to get them through the lonely nights.
But despite what the Mayan Calendar and Lindzi Cox’s diary may say…life goes on.
It will get better.
Gloria Gaynor, Lindzi and all the ex-Bachelor girls who came before her will somehow survive.
I give you Post-Bachelor Rehab.