Posts Tagged ‘@lifetimetv’

Bring It!: Hey, Girl…So You Wanna Be A Dancing Doll? Well, Take A Number. And Don’t Forget The Baked Goods.

Friday, July 25th, 2014

se

 

 

Dat’s rite, haters. Pat yo’ weaves and shake in your boots. Cuz Miss Seloncé is back, mmmkay?

 

 

tam1

 

 

You just whip that Brazilian Bundle and let me handle the rest. Mama’s got cupcakes in the car.

 

 

c2

 

 

 

Seriously. That is freakin’ hilarious.

 

d1

 

 

 

 

I really shouldn’t be eating all this pizza, cuz you know some Krazy will bring in snacks tomorrow.

 

c

 

 

 

I don’t know if it’s my Mama or my new pink headband, but something is giving me stress right now.

 

m1

 

 

 

I’m just saying that I know you have tasty cupcakes in the trunk. And I can see your car from here.

 

k

 

 

 

I’m not naming any names, but some of these edges are hanging on like Titanic passengers.

 

 

 

Buck, yeah.

DD4L is B.A.C.K.!

Let’s be real.  Four months ago I didn’t know that the elite world of hip hop majorette competitions even existed.  Don’t get me wrong…I could probably sound it out and bluff my way through a Jeopardy question, but that’s about as far as I could go on the subject.

Flash forward four months and now I’m pretty much an expert.  Ask me anything.  I’m also fairly certain that I could audition and make it through Stand Battle cuts despite the fact that a silver fringed, one legged leotard isn’t really my best look.  Not my worst, thank you very much.  But not my best.

Which makes for a nice, albeit visually disturbing, segue into the return of Bring It!

Lifetime’s overnight sensation blockbuster was back this week with (…depending on who you ask…) the second part of their first season.  Or a brand new second season.  I’m not really sure.  Lifetime Televsion has a bad habit of turning one season into a first half, second half, mid-season, unseen footage, summer premiere kind of thing.  So I don’t really know what I just watched.

Just ask my Dance Moms friends.  They’re all coming back next week and I guarantee you that none of them will have a clue what episode # it is until they open their DVDs on Christmas morning.

But regardless, Dianna “Miss D” Williams and the Dancing Dolls are back!  With a vengeance.  And that’s all that matters.

The last time we saw Miss D and the Dolls, they had just lost out at the Battle Royale to their arch rivals the Divas of Olive Branch.

After hooching up the DOB’s routine earlier in the season (…Pinocchio Stank, anyone?…) Coach Neva McGruder had dialed down the Olive Branch’s Pepe le Puppet Pew a few notches at the Battle Royale and taken the top prize away from the Dolls.

c1

Not cool.

So now Miss D was back with a new attitude.  And maybe even some new dancers on the team.  Because it was audition time:  Dancing Doll Tryouts!

As a stampede of wannabe Dolls lined the Dollhouse Dance Factory sidewalk and pushed the interior of the building way over Jackson Fire Code Occupancy Limits, Dianna and Captain Kayla laid out the plan for the two day Tryout Camp.  The Dolls had lost too many competitions last season, and now Dianna wanted more from every girl.  A lot more.

And you know she meant business, because anyone who has a scotch tape dispenser shaped like a red stiletto means business.  Clearly, when it comes to office supplies and Dancing Dolls, Miss D don’t play.

As Kayla and Dianna got the auditions rolling inside, all our favorite Mamas were outside still trying to peek through the cracks in the window blinds.

All my girls were back.  And they were all nervously pacing the perimeter of the building, because just like the New England Patriots and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, everyone has to audition for their spot on the team every year.  No positions are guaranteed, which meant that every one of their daughters had to Buck or Die all over again this season.

Neighborhood Watch Captain Mimi was as hyper as always, pinging off the walls like some Foxwoods pinball machine.  When Pixar comes out with the animated version of this show they can pretty much just use the same face she already has it’s so pliable.

Love her.

It’s Rittany Bitch was as tightly wound as the ten pounds of braid on her head.  If you squinted, she kind of looked like a Dairy Queen soft serve with all that tasty goodness wrapped around and around on the top of the cone.  We love her, too.

She don’t play, either, btw.

t

Tina was still rocking her signature red hair, but this version appeared to be attached a little more securely than the one she yanked off and slammed on the sidewalk that time she threw down with Seloncé.

And speaking of.  Phew.  Selena finally showed up.

After getting all up in Dianna’s grill at the Battle Royale, nobody was certain that Sunjai‘s Mama was going to return.  But she did.  And she made it clear that if her daughter didn’t make the team this time around, she would go crazy.  Which is kind of hysterically ironic, since she’s already crazy.

But it’s the good kind of crazy.  Not the Walmart-slam a shopping cart into the side of your car because you took my space-kind of crazy.  She’s definitely the good kind of crazy.

We love Seloncé and Tina, too, just to be clear.

This time around there was also a new Mama on the scene.  Angelisa.

She’s Tamia‘s Mama.  Tamia was around last season, but I’m not sure if they actually ever said her name out loud.  Somebody pointed out that Tamia was Camryn‘s main competition for the available Head Co-Captain position while Angelisa was wearing one of those heat-pressed photo tee shirts you can buy on the boardwalk at the booth next to the curly fry place.  That’s really all the important stuff.

Back inside, Dianna put everyone through the choreography they would be performing at their final audition.  It was pretty basic.  Some girls got it right away.  Some girls poked their own eyes out.  And one white girl made all of Twitter freeze up and go Wait…What?

I swear.  It happened.  And I can point that out without being judged, because I’m a white boy who has days when I’m almost a white girl.  So there.  You go, girl.

There were also a number of open positions available on the team.  Too many, actually.  I lost track after the first ten or twenty.  Captains.  Co-Captains.  Drill Masters.  Head Drill Masters.  So many chefs in the kitchen.  It didn’t help that Dianna whipped them all off so fast that I had to pause my DVR.

w

Then it was off to the pizza shack with Miss D and Mimi, because everyone knows that you can’t do a Reality TV show without a little nosh.

I think they were discussing their friendship and Dianna’s (…alleged…) favoritism towards Mimi, as well as the whole Tamia vs. Camryn thang, but I was so distracted by how fast the pizza came that I forgot to pay attention.

I mean, really.  I don’t know if it was bad editing or if their waiter was actually the Flash from DC Comics, but one minute they were both sitting there with nothing but two diet cokes and the next minute Dianna’s almost finished with her pizza.

Whoa.  Chew your food, girlfriend.

While Mimi and Miss D inhaled their pepperonis, we scooted over to Rittany’s house to watch her relive her golden years as an All-American Cheerleader.  F’realz.

Wearing THE best DD4L tee shirt they’ve shown yet (…”I Roll With Dat”…) Rittany busted out some football cheers for Crystianna that pretty much gave me life.  LIFE, hunty.  My girl clearly loves her dancing.  And her Michael’s craft store wall decals, because that living room had quotes and/or floral sumthin sumthins all over da hizzle.

And now I kinda want to live with them.

Day Two of Tryout Camp kicked off with some serious butt kissing as Angelisa showed up with a gigantic box of cupcakes for Dianna.  The fancy kind.  The box had fake gift wrap ribbons printed on the lid so you know she didn’t do drive-thru.  Dianna snatched them right outta her paws, but then pointed out that a purse or a couple bags of weave would have scored Angelisa more points.

And while we’re on the subject, can we just address the elephant in the room?

The shower caps?

I’ve always admitted to knowing nothing about weaves and extensions beyond what I learned on Bravo and VH1.  But even I know that you don’t wear a shower cap out in public, fercryinoutloud.  Unless, of course, you’re the one actually slamming those shopping carts into people’s cars over by the outdoor part of the store where they sell lawnmowers and light-up Santas.  Then you probably do wear shower caps.  And proudly.

rt

So can we not send anymore hate mail every time I jokingly point out that someone is wearing a shower cap?  I know it’s not really a shower cap, people.  Gah.  If you really ended up on this site looking for anything even remotely accurate, you need to switch from Google to Bing asap.

Thank you for your attention to this important shower cap PSA.  Especially since someone was wearing a nice pink one at the auditions that caught my eye.

But before we actually hit those auditions and found out who made the final cuts, we had a momentary downer over at Mimi’s house when Camryn got a rejection letter from Power APAC…that Kids From Fame kinda place that she applied to last season.

It’s their loss, Peanut.  Screw them and their stupid school.  Plus, you already have a glossy full color poster with your name on it up on your wall.  Did anyone else see that?

Totes Jealz.

Finally, it was Tryout Time!  At The Tougaloo College Campus.  I have no clue where that is, but it’s fun to say.  I bet their Fight Song is a riot.

After Twitter unfroze for the second time in one night (…thank you, Miss D’s belly button…) the wannabe Dolls and original recipe Dolls all hit the court floor.  Camryn busted it out.  Crystianna struggled a little.  Sunjai did amaze balls, so it didn’t look like Seloncé would need to raise the Homeland Security Crazy Level to Orange or Red.

All in all, the group routines went well.

Side note:  I want one of those “Brought It” shirts that Mimi and Calvin were wearing.

And I’m a size Medium, fyi.

The solo tryouts were when the nail biting really began.

Crystianna started out like a rockstar, but then froze in the middle of her routine.  When they started to play that slow music they used to play on Toddlers & Tiaras when the little nuggets stopped dead mid-finger kiss, I knew it wasn’t a good sign.

sun

She eventually recovered and wrecked the place, but I had a feeling it might have been too little too late.

Camryn started out with a slow, jazzy kind of swagger and then ended up going so fast that it blurred my HD screen.  You Betta Work B**ch.  And get yo’ Mama under control because she almost knocked Seloncé right outta her seat when she jumped up in the air during her Victory Pose.  That’s My Baby!!!!!!!

Did I forget to mention that Camryn also threw about 30 seconds of major shade at Tamia when she pointed out the key differences between executing proper ballet technique and just flicking your hair like you’re grinding on the hood of a Mustang in a music video?

Because she totally did that and it was awe-some.

Oh, snap.  Yeeeeeaaaah.  I think she gets it from her Mama.

Then it was Tamia’s turn to shine.  That girl can move.  And flick it.  My neck still hurts a little.  And then it all came down to Hair vs. Lyrical.  Experience vs. Potential.

And cupcakes vs. a Michael Kors bag.

Before Rittany flat lined and had to be carried out of the auditorium, Dianna announced the results.

All our girls made the Dancing Dolls team again this season.  No real surprise there.

Crystianna, despite her momentary blackout, made Drill Master.  Tamia and all her big hair made Head Co-Captain.  Camryn made regular Co-Captain, even though I still don’t know the difference.  But she’s young and has years to prove herself and explain the position to the rest of us.

Kayla is still Captain.  Miss D still don’t like colored lipstick.

And you still ain’t Nicki Minaj.

Yup.  Bring It! is back, y’all.

DD4L!

d

Bring It! Bonus: A Jackson Quickie. Go Behind The Battles And Let Dianna Get You All Caught Up On The Good Stuff.

Saturday, May 17th, 2014

bi

Srsly?

No more Bring It!…?

Aw Hell Nah.  Now what?

Psych.  We wouldn’t leave you hanging.

There was a little bit of milk left in the cow this week, so Lifetime squeezed out one more serving just to get us through until Dianna Williams & Co. return for Round Two.

Miss D gave us a behind the scenes opportunity to catch up on everything that’s been going on down at the Dollhouse Dance Factory since they burst onto our television screens.  For only ten episodes they sure have covered a lot of ground.

Most of it apparently just going back and forth to Memphis, but you get the idea.

But I know you’re all busy.

So with apologies to my girls, here’s the entire first season of Bring It! in under two minutes.  Probably less for those of you who always skim my stuff anyway.

You know who you are.

A Jackson Quickie, so to speak.  But the clean non-puppet kind.

No Stinky Divas.  No fluff.  No filler.  Just the meaty Mississippi goodness.  All in short, easy to follow sniglets for you Twitter types who are already losing your focus.

#BringIt101

The Dancing Doll Parents.

Proof that with unconditional love, total support and some pretty fly silk screened t-shirts your kids can follow their dreams no matter where they lead.

Nobody loves you like yo’ Mama and yo’ Baby Daddy.

And I wear a size Medium if anybody wants to hook a brother up.  Red’s my color.

ssjj

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Dancing Dolls.

Without them, the DDPs wouldn’t have much to do.

So shout out to Kayla, Camryn, Sunjai and Crystianna…the girls who help make it all happen every time their Team hits the floor.

And PS…it’s not “Dee Dee Four EL.”

It’s “DD4ELLLLLLLLLL!!”  Mmmkay?

Duh.

ddl

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And how about those Mamas?

Insane.  But the good kind of insane.

Wearing weaves and headgear made out of material previously only available to NASA scientists, these ladies can show us all a thing or two about family values and losing your nutty at an awards ceremony.

Trust me.  They’ll snatch yo’ wig and yo’ heart if you’re not careful.

Love.  Them.  Dotcom.

mimih

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Baby Dancing Dolls.

Shut.  Up.

I don’t know what’s in those juice boxes, but these little niblets can lay it down like nobody’s bidnezz once the music starts playing.

Proving that you can never have too many Kaylas in your life, Captain K2 can throw Stands like it’s her day job.  If she was old enough to work, I mean.

And sassy, spunky OhNoSheBetterDon’t Taelar?

She is Slap Yo’ Mama cute.

And maybe yo’ Mama’s Mama, too.  I just can’t.

baby

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

But it wasn’t all just dancing.

We also got fashion tips from the Prancing Tigerettes.

Clearly, I have yet to master the Jerseylicous/Pee Wee Herman combo platter.

Even though Obama doesn’t carry his phone around as much as Quincy does, this dude is straight up awesome sauce.

Call me, buddy.  It’s in your right ear if you’re looking for it.

twerq

And this happened a lot.

pupSo there have it.

Everything you missed.  Kinda.  Sorta.

Now we just enjoy the summer and wait for Miss D and the gang to buck back into our lives again.  Hopefully sooner than later.

Catch y’all at the next Battle.

Wave Buh Bye, Taelar.

DD4L.

tt1

Dance Moms Girl Talk: Lock Up The Moms And The Boys, Because It’s A Girls-Only Night In The Clubhouse.

Wednesday, April 30th, 2014

amc

 

 

I must have missed the memo during my video shoot. When did Blondie get her own talk show?

 

 

b3

 

 

Girl…I’m not one to gossip, but let’s just say somebody was giving away candy in the 6th grade.

 

 

n3

 

 

No. Srsly. You’ve got about three seconds to finally ask me one question or Imma gon’ flip this chair.

 

 

d

 

 

Laquifa What…? Not another Girl Party. Somebody please stuff me or get me outta here right now.

 

 

a2

 

 

This is my ‘You All Wish I Was Coming Back To This Crazy Show’ Face. Wanna see another one?

 

 

vv2

 

 

No…really. Over here. I’m not joking. I’m being serious. How many fingers am I holding up?

 

 

vm

 

 

Somebody better bring me some ice cream before I start throwing down with Audrey Hepburn.

 

 

 

Uh oh.

Honey, I shrunk the Dance Moms.

All of ’em.  Or at least I think that’s what happened, because everyone looks a lot smaller than they did at the last Reunion Special.

Turns out it was a Mom-Free Zone in the ALDC Clubhouse this week as only the tiny dancers were allowed inside for some Girl Talk.  Party dresses. sparkly stuff and bubble gum scented lip gloss as far as the eye could see.  But No Moms.

And definitely No Boys.

Which, according to Maddie, was because they were all over at Brooke‘s house trying to score a little sumthin sumthin.  But more on that one later.  Getting ahead of myself.

You know I have a love/hate relationship with these fluffy filler shows.  I prefer more MomMeat on the bone, thank you.  But it’s been a long time since I’ve gone to an all-girls sleepover, so I thought it might be fun to tip back a few juice boxes, channel my inner tweeny bop and talk about how OMG dreamy that One Direction boy is.

And you know which one I’m talking about.

My man Jeff Collins got the show started in his patented, uncomfortably charming Andy Cohen-wannabe way.  But without a tie this time.  Because you don’t wear a tie to a Girl Party.  Duh.  That would be totes magotes lame.

Since this was a Girls-Only situation, Jeff wasn’t even allowed in the same camera shots as the dancers.  Rules are rules.  So he was off somewhere else introducing each segment in front of a backdrop that was nothing but pink shelves and a million bottles of booze.  I swear.  Go back and look.

n2

Didn’t anyone else think that was odd?  Or hilarious?  Or both?  I know the Moms like their vino, but I’m pretty sure they don’t bring it to their kids’ birthday parties.

The way this thing was going to go down was that Jeff would ask random questions that had come in over the internet and then the girls would answer.

Side note:  The fact that Twitter almost crashed when everyone in America immediately started tweeting out questions for the girls made me question the future of our country.

They’re not sitting their live on Skype, honey.  It was like when there’s a Facebook contest and everyone starts posting things without reading the rules.  Stop it.  I mean it.

Maddie, Chloe and Sasha Nia were the first out in the IKEA hot seats, sitting in front of what I imagined the Mattel Barbie trade show booth must look like during the International Toy Fair.  Part of me wondered if maybe Jeff was just on the other side filming his parts.

Q.  Maddie/Chloe:  Are you two rivals?  Some flashbacks with THE tiniest little Maddies And Chloes evah.  I forgot how much they’ve grown up.  I think they are both still friends, even though there were a few moments of exceptionally uncomfortable Snark between them that was pretty impressive for their young ages.

Q.  Chloe:  Does it bug you that Maddie is the favorite?  Chloe stated that she needed to accept the fact that she was Numero Dos, which then led into a flashback of that infamous scene where she actually beat Maddie for about ten minutes before Abby went to the judges table and got the scores adjusted.  Watching Chloe hand over the First Place trophy like she was returning a baby to its birth mother still makes me sad.

When they cut back to the girls just staring at each other on the set, Nia was all like ‘Guurrrrrrlllll Glad that wasn’t me.’  Snap.  How can you not love Nia?

Q.  Maddie:  Have you ever been yelled at by Abby?  Some rambling about not having a solo for three whole weeks and then a flashback to Abby telling her not to cry.  For a simple yes or no question, it took her awhile to spit out the answer.

nm2

Cut back to Nia pointing out that three weeks ain’t the end of the world, sistah.  To which Maddie responded with a snooty ‘Now I know how Nia feels.’  Yikes.

Needless to say, Jeff immediately jumped to the next question before Nia went all Laquifa on Maddie’s Breakfast At Tiffany’s head.

If you read that one a couple more times you’ll realize it’s hilarious.

Q.  Maddie:  How’z about that time the music stopped during your dance?  This one was pretty self explanatory.  They showed a clip of that time Maddie’s CD got all wonky in the middle of her routine.  Since I wasn’t really paying attention I almost called Xfinity to find out why the sound on my television kept cutting in and out.  The Audio Guy trying to wipe the disc clean on his sleeve was pretty professional.

Q.  Maddie/Chloe:  Your favorite duet?  The ‘Black Swan.’  It was Chloe’s favorite because she got to be the Bad Girl.  And kill Maddie.  So there was that awkward moment right before the two girls high-fived each other and left Nia hanging.

Q.  Why the hell is Nia even on the set and when are you gonna ask her a question?  She’s a Diva, dammit.  Apparently no one had an answer for that one.

Next up was Payton, who kicked Maddie out of her seat and then chilled on the set with Chloe and Nia.  Jeff assured us that Maddie would return, just in case the entire country was going to change the channel because there were no Zieglers on the screen.

Q. Payton.  Seriously.  Why do you keep coming back?  I think I asked that one about two years ago and still haven’t gotten a straight answer.

Then there was a long discussion on Drag Queens and flashbacks to all the lady boys that Abby keeps parading through the studio.  Like a RuPaul montage.  And it was awesome.

Watching Nia lose her nutty when Shangela Laquifa Wadley did her first Death Drop in front of the girls is still probably the best 3 1/2 seconds of the entire series.  It should be required viewing if you’re ever in a bad mood.  I’m surprised those two gigantic yellow hair things she was wearing didn’t pop off like Nerf balls.

p

We got to relive Nia learning how to drop it like it’s hot with both Shangela and then later in the ‘Pumps’ dance.  Holly had her old school marm hair, but she was still a proud Mama in the audience that day.  If we’d only known back then that Dr. Beyoncé was just lurking in the shadows waiting to strike.

Soon.  Soon…

When we cut back to real time, the three girls were exceptionally hyper and totally left Payton hanging on a high-five.  There was a lot of that going on this week.

Q.  What girl hasn’t been hurt?  I think they meant ‘physically.’  Everyone’s had their share of dings and doinks, but Chloe seemed to be the one who stayed in one piece the longest according to the Blooper Reel of trips and falls and backward whatevers into face plants.  That’s gonna leave a mark.

Jill Vertes Fashion Watch:  Remember those few months when Mama V hadn’t quite gotten a handle on her new hair?  Because that totally happened again in a couple of flashbacks.  Blonde Jill was back.  With a vengeance.  But no Bump-It.

Luckily my MomCrush is on point nowadays.  Whacky as ever and Jacking it to Jesus again.  (FYI…No disrespect.  That’s Pageant Mom talk for big hair.)  Love.  Her.

Don’t forget.  When my Christmas club saving account matures, we’re all hitting the Mall, Girlfriend.  Can’t wait to see Holly’s hair du jour when Sears gets ahold of her.

Q.  Payton:  What’s the dealio on that broken ankle?  I don’t think we’ll ever know what really happened that time a chair mysteriously jumped out in front of Payton, busting up her foot right before a competition.  It’s the stuff of urban legends.  But we got to see my new friend Leslie lose her s*** again, so it was totally worth a flashback.

Q.  Srsly?  The show is half over and not one Nia question yet?  Laquifa WTF?

And then Chloe either got really big really fast, or Mackenzie and Asia are a lot smaller than I realized, because the two of them looked almost bite-sized when they came out on the set.  Dat’s rite.  Asia Monet Ray was back in the hizzle.  And wired for sound as she gave AsiaFace and AsiaEyebrow and AsiaPouty Lips all over the room.

Baby she was born this way.

am

Q.  Mackenzie/Asia:  Are you friends?  What’s your favorite dance, Asia?  We got to see their sassy duet and then watch Miss Monet Ray go all Mr. Roboto.  Werk.

Not gonna lie.  Knowing that my girl Kristy Ray must have been somewhere in the building got me a little worked up.  Let’s Go!  Hit Me!

Q.  Mackenzie:  What’s your favorite part about Dance Moms?  The singing.

Wait.  What?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this a show about dancing?

Whatev.  Roll MackZ‘s new gangstah Girl Party music video.

I’m almost positive that none of these girls can drive yet, so they clearly used fake IDs to get into that VIP Ballon Lounge.  Trust me, if you’re already dealing with high blood sugar levels, I’m not sure if this video is really for you.  But it’s a definitely a Girl Party, fo’ sho.

Na Na Na Na Na Na.

Back to the set and a triple high-five.  And they all made contact.

Then we smoothly transitioned from all that madness back to Chloe, Maddie and Nia for the Hyland Memorial Service.

Q.  Your favorite Brooke Moment?  Favorite Paige Moment?  Hold up.  I know they left the show.  I remember that part.   But unless someone is illegally posting stuff on their Instagram accounts I’m pretty sure that both Brooke and Paige are still alive.

I’m glad they included the Hyland girls in the retrospective, because they were a big part of making this show what is today.  They actually gave them a pretty big chunk of time.  We got to see a whole bunch of Hyland clips, including Brooke touching her head to her butt and then using those same skills to break the hearts of every boy in Pittsburgh.

When Chloe mentioned that Brooke stole her first kiss back in the 8th grade, Maddie was quick to point out (…in the same way a gossipy old woman sitting on the front stoop in the middle of July would do…) that Brooke was actually locking lips in the 6th grade.

Ooooh, girl.  Ya nasty.  Hand me my fan.  Lawd, it’s hot out here.

j

We flashbacked to that dorky kid Brandon trying to put some killer moves on Brooke at the State Fair and then to that other dorky kid Kevin shoving pie in her face during a romantic night on the town.

Boyz.  Go figure.  And then go die single, please.

The girls finished up their Ode to the Hylands by remembering The Last Text’ dance.

Maybe I just watch too many soap operas, but I hope somebody eventually told Chloe that the car accident wasn’t real and that Paige was still alive, because the way she sobbed about never being able to have her dream double wedding now made me think Chloe’s been putting flowers on the wrong grave for the last few months.

If Kelly was watching this at home I bet she even got up to check their bedrooms.

Better safe than sorry.

And then Kendall finally came out.  But just long enough to get subtly grilled by Maddie (…“I thought Nia would get the cover of the magazine”…) and show us all how her Mom puts on lipstick while driving when she should have both hands on the steering wheel.  They didn’t give Kendall much time to shine this week.

Q.  Kendall:  Your favorite dance?  The duet with Maddie.

Q.  Chloe:  How do you like hosting your own talk show?  And what was your favorite dance?  I forget what the answers were, because they showed Vivi-Anne eating in the audience during a flashback and my head exploded.

Which made for the best transition ever.

When the angels sang.  And the heavens opened up.

And Vivi-Anne arrived.  

It’s true.  Maddie, Chloe and fan favorite Vivi-Anne closed the show.  Shut.  It.  Down.

Q.  How does Cathy’s kid not have her own show yet?

I love me some Vivi-Anne.  But I couldn’t remember if I’d ever actually heard her speak before, so I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what was going to happen when she didn’t have a mouthful of tasty dessert.

v2

First she did tricks.  Like raising one eyebrow.  And then made some faces, I think.

Chloe lobbed a few softball questions at her, like you might do to someone who had just come out of an extended coma.

Q.  What is your name?  Do you know where you are?  What year is it?  (I’m kinda lying, but not really.  This segment had to be seen to be believed.)

I could literally watch Vivi-Anne eat ice cream all afternoon.  I’ll bet you anything that under that stuffy nose and slo-mo head turn is the sharpest tack in the box.  When she takes over, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Q.  What was the highlight of being on this show for you?

Vivi-Anne:  Something was mumbled about her Mom and craft services.

Maddie:  Winning.  Duh.  Like Charlie Sheen, I guess.

Chloe:  Being in the LUX Music Video. 

I remember that!  Cue the video.

As LUX and Mini-LUX danced dangerously close to a wall of gigantic industrial fans, the show came to a close.  Girl Talk was over.

Q.  Really?  Without out one stinking question for Nia? 

It’s been quite a ride so far.  Three and a half seasons in and the Dance Moms Train shows no sign of slowing down.

The old Team is hanging on.  The new Team is nipping at their heels.

While some things change, others stay the same.

For now, everyone’s taking a quick breather to rinse out some leotards and put away the party dresses.  Maybe even do some homework or clean their rooms for once.

But Dance Moms will be back before you know it.  Don’t you worry.

Raise your hands if you already can’t wait.

gpTo be continued…


%d bloggers like this: