DanThat'sCool!

I might need a moment here.

There’s a storm approaching, and it’s gonna call for focus.

Focus…and some seriously stocked Coupon Queen snacks.  Because it’s almost here.

The Summer of The Perfect Reality Storm.

Mob Wives: Chicago.  Big Ang.  Dance Moms.  Honey Boo-Boo Child.  All that sobbing Bachelorette nonsense.    Even that new cheerleader sumthin or other show that I know absolutely nothing about but will be glued to for an hour.

And now it’s all topped off with a giant glitter ball splat right to the face.

Toddlers & Tiaras is back!

Halleloo! Everyone’s guiltiest pleasure is returning with a new season of spray tans, aerosol beehives and enough pixie stix buzziness to make anyone spit their flipper across the Ramada ballroom.

Now you know I love me some Toddlers.

And I really love me some Pageant Mom Krazy.

The Moms I’ve met who are actually normal and have a wicked sense of humor are going to love this one.

The Moms who lean a little more to the Krazy side of the scale, however…well…I’ll do you all a favor and clear my inbox asap so you can commence spamming my site.

For everyone else who has ever wondered what happens when that last finger kiss is blown and the cupcake dress finally comes off…here you go.

The answer?

Well.  Sometimes it just doesn’t come off.  Ever.

I give you Adults & Tiaras.

You might as well make things easier on yourself and start planning now.

And by planning, I mean creating a backstory for when you call in sick to work on Thursday, April 5th…because the Mother of all Guilty Pleasures is about to Glitter Bomb you in the face again.

Toddlers & Tiaras is baaaaack!

Well, almost.

Wednesday, April 4th, actually.  Just a few more weeks and then the show that you pretend you never watch and never talk about is pretty feeting its way back into your living room with a vengeance.

It’s going to be the Battle of the New Mini Divas as Paisley and Isabella face off after months of media smack talk and underage nightclub singing.

Paisley, best known for rocketing to fame by way of her now infamously uncomfortable Julia Roberts Pretty Woman hooker outfit, is hoping to have another cheese dip celebration with a shiny new crown on her head.

Isabella, best known for both talking s*** about Paisley to TMZ when they caught her over the holidays all freshly spray tanned (…and questionably/allegedly coached by Mom…) and skyrocketing to LMAFO “Sexy And I Know It” karaoke fame with an infamously uncomfortable video performance, is hoping to talk more s*** and score a big crown at the same time.

It’s Dramalicious.  And that’s only the kids.

Don’t get me started on the Moms.  Let’s just say you do NOT want to be caught in the same Walmart parking lot when those two Moms go shopping.  Ever.

Makenzie, Alana and the rest better watch their backs.  There are some new and returning faces looking to knock those oversized crowns off their heads.

No wonder Eden jumped ship to LOGO.

Trust me, Honey Boo-Boo Child…this is gonna get good.

High Five if you’ll be there.

And…why, yes…I am.  And I know it.

Thanks for asking.