DanThat'sCool!

Trick or Treat.

Pretty Feet.

It’s Halloween time.  The biggest head rush holiday of the year.  And nothing says “Gimme Sugar” like a little touch of Toddlers & Tiaras.

If you’re still scrambling inside your closets or digging through a pile of costumes on the floor at Walmart (…seriously?  Is it really that difficult to put the thing back on the peg where it came from, lady? Get your kids under control…) I felt it was my civic duty to inspire you to embrace your own potential Glitz Greatness.

Even celebs Redneckognize the power of…well…Pageant Power.

That’s right.  Now that Honey Boo Boo Child has successfully completed Phase One of her world domination, there ain’t no stopping them Toddlers (…or their Moms…) y’all.

Hope the neighbors are stocking up on pixie stix and cheese balls for the big day, because an army of cupcake dresses are about to invade the neighborhood.  And they’re looking for more recruits.

So spray it, tease it, bling it…and bring it, bitches.

Happy Halloween.

You might as well make things easier on yourself and start planning now.

And by planning, I mean creating a backstory for when you call in sick to work on Thursday, April 5th…because the Mother of all Guilty Pleasures is about to Glitter Bomb you in the face again.

Toddlers & Tiaras is baaaaack!

Well, almost.

Wednesday, April 4th, actually.  Just a few more weeks and then the show that you pretend you never watch and never talk about is pretty feeting its way back into your living room with a vengeance.

It’s going to be the Battle of the New Mini Divas as Paisley and Isabella face off after months of media smack talk and underage nightclub singing.

Paisley, best known for rocketing to fame by way of her now infamously uncomfortable Julia Roberts Pretty Woman hooker outfit, is hoping to have another cheese dip celebration with a shiny new crown on her head.

Isabella, best known for both talking s*** about Paisley to TMZ when they caught her over the holidays all freshly spray tanned (…and questionably/allegedly coached by Mom…) and skyrocketing to LMAFO “Sexy And I Know It” karaoke fame with an infamously uncomfortable video performance, is hoping to talk more s*** and score a big crown at the same time.

It’s Dramalicious.  And that’s only the kids.

Don’t get me started on the Moms.  Let’s just say you do NOT want to be caught in the same Walmart parking lot when those two Moms go shopping.  Ever.

Makenzie, Alana and the rest better watch their backs.  There are some new and returning faces looking to knock those oversized crowns off their heads.

No wonder Eden jumped ship to LOGO.

Trust me, Honey Boo-Boo Child…this is gonna get good.

High Five if you’ll be there.

And…why, yes…I am.  And I know it.

Thanks for asking.