DanThat'sCool!

You might as well make things easier on yourself and start planning now.

And by planning, I mean creating a backstory for when you call in sick to work on Thursday, April 5th…because the Mother of all Guilty Pleasures is about to Glitter Bomb you in the face again.

Toddlers & Tiaras is baaaaack!

Well, almost.

Wednesday, April 4th, actually.  Just a few more weeks and then the show that you pretend you never watch and never talk about is pretty feeting its way back into your living room with a vengeance.

It’s going to be the Battle of the New Mini Divas as Paisley and Isabella face off after months of media smack talk and underage nightclub singing.

Paisley, best known for rocketing to fame by way of her now infamously uncomfortable Julia Roberts Pretty Woman hooker outfit, is hoping to have another cheese dip celebration with a shiny new crown on her head.

Isabella, best known for both talking s*** about Paisley to TMZ when they caught her over the holidays all freshly spray tanned (…and questionably/allegedly coached by Mom…) and skyrocketing to LMAFO “Sexy And I Know It” karaoke fame with an infamously uncomfortable video performance, is hoping to talk more s*** and score a big crown at the same time.

It’s Dramalicious.  And that’s only the kids.

Don’t get me started on the Moms.  Let’s just say you do NOT want to be caught in the same Walmart parking lot when those two Moms go shopping.  Ever.

Makenzie, Alana and the rest better watch their backs.  There are some new and returning faces looking to knock those oversized crowns off their heads.

No wonder Eden jumped ship to LOGO.

Trust me, Honey Boo-Boo Child…this is gonna get good.

High Five if you’ll be there.

And…why, yes…I am.  And I know it.

Thanks for asking.

They’re tiny.

They’re shiny.

The crowds surrounding them are insanely unruly.  Almost uncontrollable.

You say you aren’t going to get caught up in it again.

But you do.

And sometimes your eyes actually burn as a result.

Yup.  It’s happening again.

This Holiday season, it seems that anticipation for the upcoming new season of Toddlers & Tiaras is now ranking right up there with Black Friday price cuts on Walmart waffle irons.

Both events have polarized the country, caused numerous people to temporarily lose their vision, and at times reached the point where I can’t tell the difference between the two.

If it weren’t for tanning spray replacing pepper spray, I might never be able to figure out which one I am watching on Youtube.

I know it’s hard to wait, America.

So here’s one last glimpse of my new idol Makenzie Myers, the mini Queen of Meltdowns to keep you busy, and off the streets, until T&T returns this month.

She is a hoot.  She makes me smile.  End of story.

I personally can’t get enough of Makenzie…or a good waffle.

Feel free to sing along.

Lock your trophy case and hide your BeDazzler, people.

They’re coming back.

Sparkly new episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras are about to glitter bomb our television sets again…and love ‘em or hate ‘em, this latest army of soldiers in cupcake dresses has the potential (and enough big hair and even bigger attitude…) to knock Christmas into second place on the list of most highly anticipated December Events.

The TLC elves are wrapping up loads of can’t-look-away pageantry for the Holidays.

Crazy with a big bow on it.

And they’re stuffing it down our chimneys whether we asked for it or not.

What better way to pass the time until that first finger kiss than jammin’ to the hissy fit dance stylings of Makenzie Myers, the Ultimate Meltdown Diva?

No one can throw down beats and tantrums better than our girl Mackenzie.  Make sure she gets her way or she will mess you up.

Makenzie scares me, but I can’t get enough of this little firecracker.

I think she may be my idol.