Posts Tagged ‘Honey Boo Boo Child Sister Lauryn (“Pumpkin”)’

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: Vajiggle Bells, Jaggle Bells. Jiggle All The Way! Redneckognize Them? Santa Brung The Honey Boo Boo Holiday Portrait!

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

I miss Honey Boo Boo Child.

That’s right.  I said it.  I own it.

I miss everyone’s favorite Redneck Pageant Princess.

Especially during the Holidays, when we should all be together.

Or the HOLLAdays, as they like to call it down at the Bingo lodge.

Yes.  I know all the Boo Boos are coming back soon.  TLC is getting ready to roll out four special Dolla Make Me HOLLAday episodes beginning in January.  And yes, I’m already stocking up on cheese balls and ribs.  I’m anticipating an apocalyptic run on Redneck snacks the first night, so I’m doing some June-worthy hoarding before the Big Event, just in case.

But when you’re suffering from Redneck ‘drawals, January is still a long way away, ya’ll.

I need me some Boo.  Now.

Luckily, Smiley’s Flea Market and Yard Sale in Macon, Georgia came to my rescue with the Official Honey Boo Boo Family Portrait this past weekend.

After spending some quality time snooping around for pageant props and other randomness, Momma June, Sugar Bear, Chickadee, Pumpkin, Chubbs and little Baby Kaitlyn Elizabeth all plopped down in front of one of those Kmart-like pull down screens, smiled for the camera and showed The Kardashians how it’s supposed to be done.  Take that, Khloé.

No photoshopping in MIA family members for the Boo Boo Clan, thank you very much.

The family is also giving back in a big way again, just as they did last summer.

In lieu of train track warning lights to prevent an Acela business coach from plowing into the side of their house, the gang has once again blindingly decorated their home for the holidays and is running toy drives each night for donations in support of Wilco For Kids.

Sugar Bear happily gets himself all decked out in that now infamous smelly Santa Suit and poses for photos with children and/or Go-Go Juice Groupies each night, and the amount of toys and supplies they have already recieved is impressive.

Alana’s Facebook page even keeps you updated on weather reports and lighting schedules, just like Rockefeller Center.

Baby Kaitlyn totally gives all this Holiday Spirit three thumbs up.

And for those of you who want to get a jump on clearing DVR space, here you go…

Halloween Special…Sunday, January 6 @ 9pm

Thanksgiving Special…Sunday, January 13 @ 9pm

Best Of Clip Show…Sunday, February 10 @ 8pm

Christmas Special…Sunday, February 17 @ 8pm

Everything is EST and, of course, subject to last minute changes.

Because I’m not the TV Guide Channel…and Honey Boo Boo Badger don’t give a s***.

Happy Holladays.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: You’d Better Redneckognize That One Man’s (White) Trash Is Another Man’s Junk Yard Artwork Masterpiece. Holla!

Saturday, November 17th, 2012

 

Who knew that 25 pounds of garbage could be so Beautimous?

You can Holla for a Dolla all you want, but I’m not sure that anyone can put a price tag on this piece of junk pile artistry.  It’s nothing short of dumpster brilliance.

Mosaic artist Jason Mecier just spent a whopping 50 hours spraying and hot gluing ”two cans of hair spray, three tiaras, make-up, mascara, fake eyelashes, coupons, sketti, butter, ten cheese balls, two Red Bulls, one Mountain Dew, a McDonald’s chicken nugget, a pink Snuggy box, an empty toilet paper roll, one cabbage patch doll and a jar of pigs’ feet” into an instant pop culture masterpiece.

Move over Warhol.  Make way for Honey Boo Boo Child.

Jason is already my new idol.  I didn’t think that I would ever find someone with more crap in their house than me.  That alone solidified his awesomeness in my book.

But then to take all that landfill and artery clogging clutter and turn it into everyone’s favorite sassy pants Alana Thompson?

Just shut the trailer door.

I mean.  Seriously.

A Cabbage Patch doll.

Even baby Kaitlyn would give this three thumbs up.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: It’s Time For A Redneck Video Pop Quiz, Y’all. Can You Speak ‘Honey Boo Boo?’

Sunday, October 28th, 2012

Who says subtitles are just for fancy foreign films, y’all?

Not any more they ain’t.

We might as well face the cold hard truth.  Most of us will never get the opportunity to gut freshly discovered roadkill or clean pig poo off our kitchen tables.  Or take our gay poodle uncle for manis and forklift toe pedis.

And bringing a three thumbed baby to a Glitz Pageant probably isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

But thanks to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, we all got the chance to experience a little mud boggin’ and pig sloppin’.

And of course…Alana’s Go-Go Juiced-up vocabulary.

You can’t learn it at skool, and you certainly won’t find any manual at the Kuntry Stoe.

TLC even felt it necessary to subtitle the English language, just to make certain we didn’t miss any of the finger lickin’ BBQ goodness.

But everyone could use a refresher once in awhile, and now our friends at the Huffington Post have created the ultimate interactive training tool.

So grab your mouse (…or cheese ball fingers, for you fancy iPad types…) and brush up on your Boo Boo Speak.

Ready.  Set.  Redneckognize.


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