Posts Tagged ‘NYDE’

Dance Moms: When It’s Bottom Of The Ninth And You Need A Thriller, It’s Time For JoJo To Steal The Show Show.

Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

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Raise your hand if you got something way better than a postcard in Vegas. Dolla Dolla Bill, yo!

 

 

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I’m not telling you where I hid all the other Christies until you give me that damn track jacket. I’m not playing.

 

 

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I’m totally serious. If they’re just gonna flip out and leave again, I’m calling their parking spot.

 

 

 

 

Imma need you ladies to wrap up all this crazy asap. I’m pitching a double header tonight.

 

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Ummm…Hello? I dance. I like sparkly things. And nobody understands me. I’m freaking Hee Hee Shamone MJ.

 

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So my voice finally changed. And yet I still have no words for what I’m walking into right now…

 

 

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Me and my kid even in this episode? Cuz if that’s how we’re playing it this week, I’m just gonna make a hair appointment.

 

 

 

Cue the music.

Living on the Dance Floor.

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Blood on the Dance Floor.

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Yup.

Dancing and Bloodshed.  Thats what I’m talking about.

And there was a lot of both this week, literally and almost physically a few times, as old and new faces collided (…insert unintentional, yet inappropriately hilarious and smoothly transitional Michael Jackson Plastic Surgery Joke right here: _______ ) during the latest episode of Dance Moms.

Starting with The Return Of Christy Hunt.

Dat’s rite.

Look who was sitting on the MomBleachers as soon as the credits finished rolling.

Sarah Hunt‘s loud and proud Mama.

Christy was back.

No.

Not this Christi.  You wish.
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Or this Kristie.  Look at those crazy mime in a box arms flailing around.

tumblr_n65tiy1EQ21tcwnk1o1_500But the third one that everyone used to call CHRIST-y from back in the Pittsburgh days when it was the Attack Of The Christies every week.

The one who looks like John Candy in a Celine Dion wig.

jc1 celine-dion

That one right there.  jc

She didn’t used to look like that, but somehow on the flight from PA to LA she got herself natural highlights and a tube of lipstick and now she looks like that.

Side note:  I think she’s a riot.  And you know I love every Mom on this show, so no hate tweets.  Especially from John Candy fans, please.  Because that was a joke.

And I nailed it.  And you know that’s right.

Christy #3 was sitting on the MomBleachers all by herself when Ashlee rolled into the studio, so they had no choice but to awkwardly introduce themselves to each other and immediately pit their two kids against one another in a battle for that elusive ALDC jacket.

Side note again:  I love how everyone in Pittsburgh can just pick up everything they own in a rolling duffel bag and move to Los Angeles on a whim.  Don’t any of these people have pets  Whose feeding them?  I mean, how much dry cat food can you really leave in a bowl if you’re planning on sticking it out through the end of the 2016 dance season?

New Drinking Game Alert:  Ashlee’s hair.  It’s different in every shot.

Check it out next time.  She’s clearly one of those nervous hair finger runner-through-ers, because every time the camera cuts back to her she has a different part going on up there.  Nothing drastic, but sometimes it’s over there, or over there, or there’s a messy thing happening on top a little bit.

Relax, honey.  You got the gig.

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Next in the door was Melissa, who was all of the sudden Christy’s new BFF and gave her hugs and kisses like she just got out of prison and thanked her for all the millions of text messages from Pittsburgh while she was locked away.

Hold up.  Didn’t Melissa try to push Christy down a flight of stairs the last time they were together?  Or am I making that up?

Turns out that Christy had changed her…ways…and now Melissa loved her.

In capital letters:  LOVED her now.

This is Christy’s old hair.

cAnd these are her old ways.

tumblr_n9l3iuNDaL1ql5yr7o1_500Not gonna lie.  Kinda miss both.

And why was Holly dressed like 1960s Cher that day?  Not that I’m complaining.

article-2621958-1DA0A8D800000578-14_634x791After everyone else stumbled in for the Pyramid of Shame, it was explained that Kira and Kalani were not in LA this week due to a family funeral.  Condolences and a hug.

And then one more hug for that cute baby.

Bottom of the Pyramid was all about Kalani, Mackenzie‘s bad feet and JoJo, followed by Kendall, Maddie and Nia on the mezzanine level.

Which left little Brynn on top, with the highest score at last week’s competition and a track jacket that she could finally have embroidered with her own name.  You go, girl.  Muah.

brThis week the gang was headed to New York Dance Experience in Long Beach.

And Abby got some last week.

Because that’s how smoothly that transition went.

I was like…

dance-moms-now-you-see-hernow-you-dont-the-mi-L-s_7waWAnd Abby was like…yobtwballAnd then my MomCrush Jill explained that Abby had hooked up with some Mystery Man she nicknamed Magic Mike and now the Apocalypse is upon us for real.

Bonus:  Actual unedited, never before seen footage from Abby’s Vegas trip:

tumblr_m68cggbemZ1r3ifxzo1_500Isn’t that the Candy Apples lady in the red?

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Think about that for a minute.

Cauepb8UYAAiu5XWhen she wan’t making it rain up in there, Abby somehow managed to find time to take in the Michael Jackson ONE Cirque du Soleil show and was now determined to create some MJ-inspired dances for this week’s competition.

Like the group routine.  Which had a baseball theme.  Because MJ loved baseball.

Excuse me?

Holly looked that way…

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And then that way…
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And then that way and was all like Wait.  What?h2Everyone was Googling it, but nobody could find any Wikipedia references to how MJ’s signature sequined glove was actually a catcher’s mitt or any MLB regulations on backing up into home plate with a Moon Walk vs. sliding in face first.

I did find this dude from the Lehigh Valley IronPigs wearing a Thriller uniform for some reason.  His pants are tight, but his glove is so not sparkly.

19-lehigh-valley-ironpigs-michael-jackson-tribute-jerseys-crazy-minor-league-jerseys And I found a baseball with Michael Jackson’s face on it that only costs $19.99.

Michael-Jackson-BaseballBut mostly I just found pictures of Michael and the baby from Escape From The Planet Of The Apes looking all matchy matchy.

92110,xcitefun-michael-jackson-bubble-the-chimpAnd this, of course.

GTY_trump_jackson_1990_jef_160219_12x5_1600America.

Brynn and Sarah scored a duet, as well as Maddie and Kendall.  Except that Maddie was going to be MIA for the next 24 hours due to some Disney shindig that required her presence and now Kendall was already stressing out about it.

kkShe and Maddie are BFFs and with all the TMZ/US Weekly rumors over at CVS about the Zieglers evacuating the dance floor after this season, it made sense that KK wanted to get as much MaddieTime in as possible.

Bonus:  Here’s a shot of Ashlee and Christy when they were on The Price Is Right bidding on that Final Showcase at the end of the show.  Am I right?

pirAfter the girls rehearsed the group routine for a few, Melissa and Maddie had some time on the DL back in what I assume was the ALDC LA store or something.

stWith all the crap piled up in the storeroom next to Abby’s twin bed, I can’t believe there’s only one tank top and a pair of booty shorts hanging on that whole rack.  When I worked at the GAP I would have fired someone for that kind of merchandising.

That scene was basically foreshadowing things to come.  Stay tuned.

The next day, after Kendall got done taking all her selfies in the back parking lot (…you see that?…) everyone went inside so they could all get under Melissa’s skin over the TMZ/Us Weekly/CVS thing again.

Melissa has been making this face a lot lately.

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When she’s not booty popping, I mean.

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Imagine driving by that window with all them ladies talking dirty.

dirtyOooh, Magic Mike.  You nasty.

Side note:  Where did all those people come from all of the sudden?  Look at ’em all.

The place has been empty for 2 seasons and all of the sudden it looks the Today Show window.  And what’s even happening right now with that one Mom right there trying to get her 15 minutes in front of the camera?

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I know those are probably sunglasses on her head, but if you squint she kinda looks like Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman, right?

And there she is again.

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Maybe she should be less worried about texting her girlfriends that she’s on the television and more worried about her kid hanging off that jungle gym back there.

That kid.  Right there.

Get down from there right now.  Go in that Homework Room.  I’m not tell you again.kids

Look at Abby having one of those mini strokes.

Side note Two:  I’m gonna assume we missed out on some Nia solo or something that never aired, because otherwise I have no explanation as to why Sasha was wearing fancy BigGirl heels and talking to herself and spinning a mirror around and around in the corner while Brynn and Sarah rehearsed.

mirrorPlease let it be a solo.  Because otherwise that’s something that a crazy person does alone at home on a Friday night with lipstick smeared all over their face.

You said you’d text me back.  I know you have your phone on.

Side note Three:  That was pretty much the extent of Holly and Nia’s participation this week.  And I am not happy at all.

Granted, Holly had a few more Pearls of Wisdom that she unleashed during the episode, which is a given.  But there were not nearly enough #HollyFaces or Moments of Clarity and/or Slaying to fill the hour and thats an issue that needs to be addressed asap by the producers.

#YAAAAAAS.

niaProgramming note:  For this evening’s rehearsal performance, the role of Maddie Ziegler will be played by JoJo Siwa.  And that’s pretty when it all started to go downhill.

JoJo and KK weren’t syncing up right.  Kendall wanted Maddie, even though she loves her some JoJo.  And she didnt’ want to do it as a solo.

So naturally, everyone started yelling and KK started crying and ran out of the studio and then back into the studio and snipped at Abby a little and then got dragged back out again by Jill who wasn’t going to let her do this in front of Abby or the cameras or me, because she knows it gives me anxiety.

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But you know how Reality Television goes.  They could have left out the part where Kendall got hit in the back of the head with a shovel by Wile E. Coyote and that’s why she was crying.  You just never know.

But regardless, everyone was running in circles like they do on Scooby Doo when they run in and out of all those different doors all at once.  It was crazy pants.

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I love KK.

Yeah, I know.  She’s a crier.  But even Holly noted that…umm, duh…they’re children.  And this is an extremely stressful time for the children thanks to TMZ/US Weekly…etc.

So cut her some slack, yo.  Or take it to a chat room.

Contractually Obligated “I’m Done!” Scene:  Jill and Kendall ended up leaving.

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Q.  Why is all that stuff always laying all over the floor and the benches when they have like a million empty hooks on the wall?  Seriously.

The next day, Kendall was back, but her duet with Maddie had somehow turned into a solo for JoJo.  And you know how well that was going over with everyone.  Especially Christy who kept needling Jessalynn about throwing friends under the bus just to get your kid ahead.

Check out everything that’s going on with Christy right there.

c3When you got Dance Moms at 2 but you’re chaperoning Prom at 7.

What the–?  This show, I swear.

Finally, it was Showtime!

And…is that…?

fangirlingAAAAUUGGGHHH!  OhMyGawd!!!!!

Nobody told me Rachelle Rak was judging this thing!

I almost spit out the apple I was biting.  The ‘Sas’ was back!  We love Rachelle!

You remember her from Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and all the other stuff I keep reminding you about every time she shows up.

She’s my Broadway Girlfriend.  She just doesn’t know it.  Clearly.

Otherwise I’d have some box seat tickets in my hand right now.

Here she is getting ready for the competition.  I think they filmed it on Casual Friday at Toys ‘r Us.  Got enough Fisher Price on the floor there?

Rachelle_Rak_as_Wonder_Woman_-_2015-06-21And here she is on her way to the competition.

giphy-1I don’t know who Steve is, or why they were headed to Texas instead of Long Beach where the NYDE was being held.  But if she’s cheating on me, I’m glad Steve fell out of the plane because I don’t see him anywhere.

And finally, here she is realizing that the show had terrible lighting.

rsr2That’s right, baby.  Find that bright spot.  Mama didn’t raise no fool.

Werk.

rsrJoJo’s solo was a delightful mix of Michael’s Bad Video meets Janet‘s Rhythm Nation meets Toddlers & Tiaras Outfit of Choice.

jjsw2Unfortunately, she didn’t even place during the Awards, which was not cool.

Brynn and Sarah did well, though Sarah may or may not have wobbled, depending on who you talked to and what judge’s score sheet you reviewed.

sh1Throughout the entire competition, Abby was remarkably calm and…dare we say…almost pleasant?  It was creepy.

Clearly, Rolaids and Role Playing can do that to a person.

You heard me.  They said Abby role plays with Magic Mike.

But nothing impromptu.  She has a script.

For role playing.

With a man.

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Luckily, the Michael Jackson Little League World Series was about to begin.

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Bonus:  Here’s a picture of MJ disguised as a baseball player when he wanted to go to Costco or wherever.  I forget.  But at least it finally proves he really did have a love for baseball, right?  Or at least International Day when they give out all the samples.tumblr_mcz4ly9qBX1rjsnqfo1_400Rachelle loved the number, even though she was quick to point out that there was not supposed to be an aerial in baseball.  I’m not sure which side of the coin she was judging on that one, but I guess it’s not out of the question that she could umpire in the Bronx on Mondays when most of the shows are dark.

When it was all over, Brynn and Sarah took home First Place.  But the group dance struck out.  Nada.  Nothing.  They didn’t even place.

But Abby was still pretty chillaxed about the whole thing.

Her biggest concern was that Sarah wasn’t a Quicker Picker Upper when it came to spills and choreography.  But that would have to wait for another day back at the ALDC Dugout.

Yeerrrrrrrrr Out!

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Game Over.

Buh Bye.

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Dance Moms: It’s Solo Battle Round 1 As JoJo Goes Up Against Kendall K. Let’s Get Ready To ALDC Rumble!

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015

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Because I called the big googly glasses and frizzy hair today, that’s why. Now go home and change.

 

 

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#IHateYouGuys.

 

 

 

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I swear to Gawd. If ONE man in that chorus is prettier than me, I’m quitting this show for good.

 

 

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“Nationals.”

 

 

 

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I know, right? Check ’em out. Miley Cyrus socks. They even smell like her by the end of the day.

 

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Girrrrl, pleez. Did she just say 527 hair bows for one little girl? That is srsly messed up.

 

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If I can just knock this down and get to the door, I might stand a chance of getting out alive.

 

 

 

Let’s just get right to it, shall we?

It was Dance Moms: Lite as what was left of the ALDC all gathered in front of 3rd Street Dance to regroup after the dramatic exit of one of their own last week.

Kira and Kalani had (…once again…) jumped the Lukasiak/Hyland GetOuttaTown Bus and walked out on the team after a second throw down with Abby Lee Miller.  It was pretty dramatic, with lots of screaming and yelling and Alexa Moffett in a dress that the internet still hasn’t come to grips with seven days later.

They cried.  They quit.  And then they went home to Arizona, never to bee seen again.

Spoiler Alert:  Or not, maybe.

As the girls headed up to the penthouse rehearsal space 84 floors above street level, the few remaining Dance Moms…Moms…hung out on the sidewalk for a few more minutes to discuss their current situation.

Melissa Ziegler-Gisoni Stripper Shoe Shout-Out:  It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, I guess.

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Holly really didn’t know if Kalani would come back after that second fight, which was a good lead-in to a quick flashback of Kira trying to maneuver her roly-poly suitcase around 42 Louis Vuitton bags and whatever that mess was behind Melissa.

Seriously.  Five seasons later and not one Mom has yet been able to scream “I’m Done!” and exit the building with all four wheels and/or their dignity still intact.

SuperFan TakeOver Flashback:  Do you remember when Melissa tried to bolt down that hallway in Season One carrying every trophy she could snatch and ran over those two kids that still have to sleep with the lights on four years later?

I love this show.

But that second fight between Kira and Abby wasn’t the Big One, at least according to Jessalynn.  It was the first one, a few weeks back, that had really set them off on a path to destruction.  Which gave a good lead-in to yet another flashback.

And an opportunity for me to use this photo for the third week in a row.  Do enjoy.

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Jessalynn Hilarity Scale:  Staaahp it with this woman.  HIGH-sterical.  AND you get to see Abby in her lacy Lane Bryant again?  Pretty much a Win/Win all around.

Side note:  Bonus Points to the Marketing Department for randomly placing that 3rd Street floor banner right out there in the middle of the sidewalk during filming.  I see what you did there.  You know you’re supposed to get city hall approval anytime you put something outside that blocks traffic and fire exits, right?  When that thing blows over in the wind and kills somebody, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  It’s public access, not a Trade Show booth.

Upstairs, the Pyramid of Shame had returned!

JoJo with the (..Spoiler Alert: 527…) Hair Bows and The Artist Formerly Known As Just Nia were on the Bottom.  I almost forgot how this thing worked.

Side note:  Feel free to pre-order Nia’s on-fleeka duet with Coco Jones right here.

Yaaaaaaas!  Slay, gurl.  Slay.

Mackenzie and Maddie held down the mezzanine level of the Pyramid.

Wait.  What?  Maddie?

Turns out that Abby wanted to knock her Golden Child down a peg and make the oldest Ziegler work for that top tier status from now on.  No more Free Rides, honey.  Which would have been much more of a Teaching Moment if Abby had stuck her all the way down on the bottom and moved Nia up a peg, if you ask me.  But you know…

Whatev.  I’m pretty sure Maddie was too busy making music videos to even care.

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Drumroll.  Which meant that Kendall was on top of the Pyramid!!!  KK got all excited.  My MomCrush Jill got all excited.  Everyone was pretty excited.

About time Kendall got some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, yo.

This week the gang was headed to Escondido, CA for the New York Dance Experience.

NYDE.  Which I totally thought said NYSE on the backdrop during previews.  Not that Maddie doesn’t already have enough money invested in SiaStocks to justify ringing the opening bell.  I just don’t think she can reach the button yet.

Kendall and JoJo scored the solos.  Top and Bottom of the Pyramid.  Just like in baseball.

KK’s solo was entitled ‘Immortal’ and had something to do with chariot races at the first Olympiad, while JoJo would be channeling her Inner Miley Cyrus in a tribute to the former Hannah Montana star who got really famous by doing stuff with one of those foam fingers you can buy at football games.

JoJo.  Loves.  Miley.

Like, OMG Smiley Face and Hearts loves Miley.

giphy11JoJo literally had to be put on a ventilator during the commercial break she loves Miley so much.  She even wears Miley Socks.  Maybe by the holidays Miley will finally start wearing underwear and put her face on that, too.  You better start making your Christmas lists now, kids, just to be on the safe side.

The ‘Don’t Fence Me In’ group routine was going to be based on a gigantic barbed wire (…duh…) fence prop, which was very timely considering that everyone on the news seems to be breaking out of prison nowadays.  (You don’t think that Jeff Collins is psychic, do you?  How else do you explain this week’s dance theme when the show is taped so many months in advance?)

As luck would have it,  Abby had more than enough available barricade surrounding the terminally-under construction ALDCLA site, so finding something for Mackenzie to swing on wasn’t going to be a problem.

F’realz.  Is that new studio even open yet?  It’s been like two years.  I bet they’re faking their Instagram feed with a green screen.  What’s the hold up, Bob?

maxresdefault-1This was an especially important week, tho, because the highest scoring ALDC soloist would move on to compete against NEXT week’s soloist in the battle for a spot at the…umm…they say it all the time.  And it always sneaks up on me every season.  What was the name again?

The Road To Nationals:  You know what to do every time you hear somebody say it.

tumblr_ndcjvy2ZVC1qk08n1o2_500Under 21?  Have a juice box.  We’ll make a game out of it.  It’ll be fun.

As the girls got to rehearsing, we went to check in on the Candy Apples.  Who were back again.  Except that they were called the Broadway Dance Academy dancers now and Cathy Nesbitt-Stein was not even listed on my DVR recording.

Don’t ask.

Jeanette Cota was also back, if that helps give you any sense of normalcy.  The way she explained it, she and Ava were here for the long run now that Chaos Cathy had moved on, whatever that means.  I’m pretty sure Cathy’s still alive, tho, because somebody is still talking smack about Abby on her Twitter page.  So I’m thinking she definitely just moved on…not passed on.

And if Jeanette was going to lead this new and improved team to victory, she was going to do it with edgy, controversial, on-trend subject matter that she could rub all over Abby’s face like butter on a biscuit.

Starting with Transgender issues and the impact it has on young members of the LGBT community.  And on Chloe’s Mom Liza, apparently, who got so overwhelmed by the subject matter that I thought somebody was gonna have to run across town and get JoJo’s inhaler.

Liza got all like…

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…and barely made it through Jeanette’s full backstory on the dance like…

VerklemptThat other lady still had on her razor slice necklace, too.  What the what?

Transgender Advocate Jay Pryor, whose life the It Gets Better musical project is based on, would be coming to visit soon, along with members of the Gay Men’s Chorus, who…wait for it…would be singing LIVE during competition.

Side note:  Did Jeanette call it the Gay MAN’s Chorus the first time, or was it just me?

Cuz I swear…

Jeanette was clearly going for the kill shot this week.

Just like Kira.  Who was baaaaaaack.

kg2No lie.  They were back already.  Granted, Kira and Kalani pulled into the parking lot on Day Two so slowly that I thought they had a nail in their tire.  But at least they were back.  And whatever swear word came out of Melissa’s mouth when they drove up is the same one that’s written on Kira’s vanity plates, because Lifetime blurred them both out at the same time.  No lie.

Honk if you Bleep.

The Dealio:  Kalani loved the team and wanted to finish up the season with her Dance Family.  Kira didn’t want to be there, but had flown back and forth and back again from AZ in the hopes that Abby would accept her daughter back into the fold and forget about the whole silly thing.

Side note:  How mad do you have to get that your entire shirt pops off in public, anyway?

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Better the back hallway of a hotel than in the middle of a mall food court, I guess.

I’m officially done with this photo for the week.  You can open your eyes now.

Naturally, Abby wouldn’t let Kalani back into the group routine since it was already a work in progress.  True, she can re-block a number four minutes before they go on stage every time she forgets a costume at home…but, still…it wasn’t gonna happen this time.

Especially since Abby felt that Kira wanted everyone to take it up the a** for some reason that escapes me right now.

Side note:  How about when Abby yelled at Kendall and told her that she was dancing like Mackenzie and then Mackenzie got all like Hello?I’mRightHereInTheRoom.

Hilarious.  Nationals is really getting everyone on edge.

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Back over at whatever the Candy Apples are called now, all of Jeanette’s guests arrived to make everyone cry.  Especially Liza, who cried like she was on a soap opera…

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…as Jay (…who used to be Janet…) told his story of self-awareness and transitioning from female to male after years of not feeling comfortable in his own skin.

I really liked Jay.  He reminded me of the Genius Bar guy at my local Apple Store who swapped out my iPhone 6 with no questions when the battery wouldn’t hold a charge.

Jay was super-smiley and so happy now that you couldn’t help but get a little fuzzy.  And any one who talks shizz about my boy Jay and his life choices is no longer allowed to read this blog.  So there’s that, too.  Choose carefully, because you don’t get a do-over.

Live your life, dude.

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Jeanette introduced her team to Jay, singer Jason and song writer Morten, whose funky black and yellow shirt looked like a Crate & Barrel pillow.  They all spoke and explained how important the story was and how it was all going to go down on stage at the competition.  Honestly, everyone smiled so much it freaked me out.  Not as much as Jay’s old breasts used to freak him out, I’m sure.  But close.

By the time we returned to 3rd Street, Abby was quizzing Kalani about her religious choices like she was the Pope or something.  Not dancing in the group routine was now considered penance for walking out on everyone last week.  Go say three Hail Marys and slap your mother for me.  Amen.

Finally, it was Showtime!  Hallelujah.

Outside the auditorium, the ALDC came face to face with the CADC/BDA in an odd moment that looked exactly the way I always imagined a PTA meeting on a Gay Pride float would look.  Jeanette and Jessalynn wore dueling Jackie O glasses (…Mama Siwa for the Win because hers were BeDazzled…) while the other Moms sniffed each other out like meerkats.

Bonus Points for Liza holding one of the little rainbow flags they stick in Greenwich Village cupcakes.  She might be my new favorite funny person in the event that Jessalynn can no longer fulfill her duties.

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Side note:  How about the two guys in suits and earpieces walking between the teams like somebody was going to pull a gun at an Escondido dancing competition?  You see them?

I need to know right now who the big bald one was.  He wasn’t taking crap from anybody.

In the makeup room, Jill contoured Kendall K’s face so hard I thought the extra ‘K‘ might have been for ‘Kardashian,’ while JoJo modeled her Miley Cyrus outfit for the crowd.  The sparkly costume itself was pretty snazzy, but somebody clearly cheaped out and bought her one of those Carol Brady wigs you always see advertised in the back of Ok! Magazine.  Not cool.

And then Abby gave one last pep talk to the soloists about how this could make or break their chances for Nationals.

drinking

Rachelle “Sas” Rak Sighting:  Yaaaas!  There she was at the table, right next to some judge wearing a Forest Ranger hat.  I’m not sure if my girl was just keeping it low-key this time or if they kept showing the same shot of her over and over the entire evening.

But she never moved once.

#BiteTheApple.

jdJoJo was first up and she legit hit the stage like a Wrecking Ball.  At first she was all like…

maxresdefaultBut then ended up more like…

rudolph-yukoncornelius-9…when she completely forgot all her choreography.

Kendall, on the other hand, remembered hers.  Clearly my MomCrush was off a week or so when she declared that previous week as National Kendall Week, because KK was on fiyah this time around.  Wear Em Out, girl!

Side note:  After all the controversy (…and exposed undergarments…) surrounding Embracegate, it was certainly a nice surprise to see Abby actually hug it out with JoJo following her less than stellar performance.  Maybe Bumbles really can bounce and come back with a softer side.  Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, Cornelius.

527:  The number of hair bows that JoJo owns.  Officially announced right here during one of those Dance Moms Slumber Party thingamabobs where all the girls talk at once and write on dry erase boards.  527.

And then the groups performed.  And NAILED it.  Both of them.

It was clearly a tough decision, but in the end the ALDC came in on top and beat the CADC/BDA.  One.  Two.

But Jay’s story was more important to Jeanette than the actual win this time.  And I have to agree.  I don’t have to agree when people have bikini bathing suit tan lines and then wear a strapless dress to a dance competition, but her team’s moving performance on stage made up for Jeanette’s whackadoodle lack of sunscreen.

And then it was over.

The ALDC was back on top.

Kira and Kalani were sticking around.  For now, anyway.

These two were getting ready for a solo showdown.

mvk

And Abby’s hair inexplicably did this right as the credits started to roll.

alm

One week closer to Nationals, people.

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