Posts Tagged ‘Ricky Jackson’

Dance Moms: Attention, Please. We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Dance Show For A Big Announcement.

Wednesday, April 13th, 2016

m2

 

 

Honestly, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone. I was just gonna stop showing up after Regionals.

 

 

mk

 

 

No clue what’s happening right now, but somebody better get me chips before I lose it.

 

 

grph1

 

 

Think these new graphics could be any bigger? If they cover up my hair, I swear to God…

 

 

raw

 

 

 

 

 

Same.

 

 

jv

 

 

 

 

Srsly. What is this…CNN? Get this damn thing off me. Do they even know how much this top cost?

 

mkoh

 

 

 

Oooooooh, gurrrl! You can keep all your Hello Kitty toys. That boy Chris Hemsworth is FINE.

 

 

hunt

 

 

 

I know I didn’t fly Coach half way across the country just to be in one episode. Really?

 

 

 

Brace yourself, folks.

And maybe grab some Kleenex and your microwave movie popcorn.

Because Dance Moms ’bout to tug on your heart strings and pimp out Charliz Theron‘s new movie like nobody’s business.

And they’re gonna do it all at the same time.

So, yeah.  Brace yourself.

The Short Version:  After months of tabloid speculation, Melissa finally came clean about La Familia Ziegler’s future with the ALDC and she pretty much broke the internet.

Like this.

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Which, purely by coincidence, happens to be a clip from the aforementioned new movie The Huntsman: Winter’s War, which opens in theaters around the country on Aprill 22.

Side note:  Feel free to Fandango the (bleep) outta that thing after you finish reading this hilarious recap, because there has to be at least one scene from the movie that wasn’t already slipped into this week’s episode, right?

Not this one, necessarily.
anigif_original-11552-1447880040-4That’s actually me on one of my Sunday Spa Nights after luxuriating with one of those anti-eye puffery things that you keep in the freezer overnight.

#BagsBeGone.

And not this one.

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That’s when Christi and Kelly had that fight and dropped F-bombs all over the place.

But you get the idea.  Go see the movie.

Anyway.  Back to Dance Moms.

We started out in the ALDC LA parking lot this week where all the Moms and kids were gathering for the day’s festivities.  Kira was back again (…she’s on the Every Other Program…) which meant that Kalani was back.  Which meant that all the girls were excited to be together again.  Hugs everywhere.

And gossip, of course.  Always gossip.  Because Kira needed to be brought up to speed on all of Melissa’s vaguery (…is that even a word?..) regarding whether she and her girls would be returning to the Team next season.

Side note:  Nobody seemed to be overly concerned about the guy who ran past my MomCrush Jill and then disappeared down that back alley, so I didn’t panic.

hood

Remember WinterCoat Guy who was so overdressed in the studio a few weeks ago?  I’m gonna assume Sweatshirt Guy was the same dude from last time in the Old Navy puffer and scarf even though it’s a consistently humid 85 degrees in LA this time of year.  He’s probably just one of those people who’s always cold.  My great-aunt was the same way no matter how high she cranked the heat in her house.  It was like a sweat shop up in there.

After all these weeks of USWeekly leaks and chatroom mockery, Melissa finally came clean and told the Moms that…yes…it was true.

Wait for it.

She and Maddie and Mackenzie would no longer be part of the Elite Team in 4 weeks.

Dat’s rite.  One month.  And then they’re moving on.

Wait.  What?

Everyone got emotional.  Melissa got emotional…

m…before accidentally letting a little ‘See You Later, Suckahs’ slip out.

m1But then she regained her composure and headed inside to tell Abby the news.

And maybe even Mackenzie, too.  Because that would be nice if her kid knew what was about to go down.  Because MackZ had no idea.

Did I forget to mention that part?  Because Melissa sure did.

Turns out that MackenzieBoo had no clue her days with the ALDC were numbered.

Duh.  Maddie knew, obvi.  But not MackaDoodle.

Don’t even start.  I’m not one to tell any of these Moms how to do their jobs.

Granted, I have no problem telling them what to wear or when their hair is a hot mess, but I always pass on anything that falls under the ‘Don’t Tell Me How To Raise My Kids’ umbrella.  They know best.  Not me.  And not you.

Luckily, Dr. Holly came through as the Voice of Reason (…again!…) and convinced Melissa that EVERYone needed to know what was happening.  Which in itself was a good thing, because it meant that maybe Holly and Sasha Nia would actually get to participate in this week’s episode.

What was THAT all about last week?  Hardly any FrazierFace Time?

#NotLikingIt.

n

Yeah.  What she said.

Needless to say, the conversation between Melissa and Abby was pretty emotional.  Their blood pressure numbers were probably almost as high as the inventory count on all those clear Tupperware bins piled up to the ceiling in that crazy back room.  You see that?

I swear there are more of them every week.

It looked like Target on the Day After Xmas when they line every aisle with those things and then never have enough carts to actually transport them to the register.  I’m not carrying 5 of giant storage containers all the way through the lingerie department just to find out that the self-checkouts are off-line, thank you.

Melissa walked in and did this for some reason.

m3

Here she is on a different day, in a Sears store, doing the same thing again.  yobtwball

And then she Ugly Cried.

mcAnd then Abby took it to a whole other level and did whatever this was for a few minutes.

acYou know you’re upset when you cry so hard the curl comes out of your hair.

Bonus Points:  To Melissa for promising Abby that Maddie would NOT be dancing on that new So You Think You Can Dance Kids show.  Because she won’t be.  Because she’s going to be a judge instead.  So it’s not like she was lying or anything.

I see what you did there, Mrs. Z.

Smooth.

tumblr_ny6aw1Z4Cj1stq3wlo1_500-1And then they did the Pyramid of Shame, which was pretty irrelevant given the drama of the day.  Google it if you can’t sleep tonight without knowing the results.

Q.  Where’d this lady go?

ch

This week, the gang was headed to Fierce National Dance Competition in Agoura Hills.  Everyone seemed pretty excited even though I had to Apple Map it.

The group routine, in case you haven’t read anything up to this point, was going to be based on The Huntsman: Winter’s War movie.  Pay attention, please.

You know how I get when it comes to skimmers and haters.

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Maddie and Mackenzie would be portraying the dueling Queen sisters, with the rest of the pack divided up between #TeamFire and #TeamIce.

There were also going to be THREE duets entered into the competition.

Count ’em:  Nia and Mackenzie.  Maddie and Kalani.  And Maddie and Kendall.

Yup.  TWO Maddie duets.

Abby was definitely gonna milk that Ziegler Cow for all she could this month.

md2But that’s ok, because Maddie wanted to spend as much time with her BFFs as possible before she headed off into the Sia Sunset to pick up her SAG card.

Newsflash:  She’s still just a kid.

Right about here was when Ashlee blurted out sumthin sumthin about the Zieglers leaving the ALDC before Melissa even had time to tell Mackenzie to start packing up her dance bag.  OhNoSheDin’t.  OhYesSheDid.

Drama.

Pause Your DVR:  Can we just take a moment to appreciate not only Holly’s on-point hair styling (…cuz you know dat’s rite…)

h2…but also the way she always scoots those kids out of the hizzle every time some shizz is about to go down in front of them?  I mean, c’mon.

Remember when she got everyone out of that makeup room in under 4 seconds when Abby and Kelly started rolling around on the floor?  To this day I still swear she used airplane inflatables and just shoved those kids out the second floor window.

BY06jWmOr maybe she just keeps hard candy in her Louis bag and throws it out the back door like kibbles and watches them all run outside.

I dunno.  But whatever it is…it’s an #ArtForm.

Which is why I love Holly so much.

Side note:  What the What?  Check out Jill.  #BigHairDon’tCare.

bhAfter about 20 minutes of Dance Moms Bumper Cars where everyone was running in circles and knocking each other down, they all ended up in that back room with all the empty wall hooks and finally told everybody everything.

Game Over for the Zieglers.

86402485dbfifEverybody cried.  Everybody hugged.

Well, almost everybody.

You notice that?  That was odd.

hugnmjkg

Side note:  Holly has an Apple Watch.  Because of course she does.

She’s always trying to one-up me, I swear.

And then Abby locked herself in the bathroom, because why not.  And she wouldn’t come out, no matter what the other Moms did.

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The next day, Melissa took Holly and Jill to lunch to serve up some salads and flashbacks.

I don’t know how the food was, but the flashbacks were awesome.

We got to see some of my favorite oldies but goodies, like when Melissa lost her marbles in Season 1 and snatched up every trophy on the table and then dragged her Samsonite roller down the hall on 3 wheels swearing and cussing like I don’t know what.

trActually I do know like what.

Like when Beanie Babies were popular and a new batch would come out unannounced in the middle of the week and you’d leave your kid waiting on the sidewalk at school just so you could scoop every new bear off the shelf and hopefully score yourself the elusive unicorn with the brown horn.

This one.  But with the brown horn.

mystic_unicorn_coarse_yarn_mane_side_uWhich is worth up to $3,000 now.  I just can’t.

And then we saw one of Jill’s most iconic moments.  Cover your ears, kids.tumblr_lzh0liUkxc1r43mqxo1_250True Fact:  That’s also what happened the first time she read this blog.  Pinky swear.

And, of course, we got to see the first time that Holly really lost her nutty on Abby while Kira photobombed the scene dressed like she was going to the Oscars for some reason.

hkI love this show.  Sue me.

Side note:  There was clearly one empty seat available next to Jill that went unused, BTW.

Thanks for not inviting me, Melissa.  Even though I was the only one who stood up for you back when you couldn’t figure out how to download songs off Napster and kept hanging up on anyone who tried calling the Pittsburgh front desk.

But that’s ok.  Really.

Decision 2016:  As long as we’re voting, I vote for my MomCrush to keep her LunchHair.

jv1

Back at the studio (…the LA one now…) Abby showed the girls the movie trailer.

Even this part.

tumblr-nxzhgaVo0R1qjqcybo1-500I know, right?  With kids in the car.

Maddie swallowed her gum and was all like…mbAbby was all like…amAt some point, Abby even noted that the stars of the movie were going to see this group routine.  Which was amazing, because who knew that macho Chris Hemsworth even watched Dance Moms?  But I guess he does.

And now that’s like TWO things he and I have in common.

We both work out and we both watch Dance Moms!

This is me rinsing out my Under Armour after getting my swole on at the gym.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-12438-1426118025-7afOh, yeah.  Mama likes.

You know she’s got that one for a screen saver.  Look at her.

As the competition grew closer, Abby was having a hard time processing any of the Ziegler NewZ.  Which basically meant that she cried a lot as and relived much of the loss that she had suffered throughout her own life.

Abby misses her Mom and Dad.

a

Finally, it was Showtime!

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Look at little Brynn contouring like a Boss.  I almost forgot about her this week.

bShe’s so cute.

Nia and Mackenzie’s duet was a sad dance about a young girl saying goodbye to her Mom who was dying from cancer.  Holly got all choked up.  But they won First Place!!

nmkMaddie and Kendall’s Insane Asylum duet made Jill cry in her interview confessional and got Twitter a little #Twisted.  There were certainly a lot of tears this week.  But smiles all around when they took Second Place in their age category.

kkAnd then Maddie did a quick change…

tumblr_msehmz73mE1qcpkfeo4_250…and ran right back out on stage with Kalani, where they did this no hands forward flip over whatchamacallit that was A.  Maz.  Ing.tumblr_o5iyp5Tyak1tb8iyko1_500After the duets were over (…and in case you STILL weren’t clear on the theme for this week…) we got treated to a quick Girl Talk promo-looking thing where Charlize Theron was all like “Gurrrl, whatchoo mean you don’t watch Dance Moms like me and Chris?…”

ctAnd Emily Blunt was all like “I don’t have to, Beeotch, because I read DanThat’sCool.”  

dmOr at least I think that’s how it went.

If we’re being totally honest, I had to mute the TV to answer my cell in case it was Melissa apologizing for that whole lunch date fiasco, but it looked like that’s what the two ladies were discussing.

Bonus:  We also got treated to not one…but TWO…of those chit chatty Dance Moms Guide To Blah Blah Blah where the girls all sit around and tell you not to wear too much foundation on the playground.

Not gonna lie.  Sometimes this show is so random that it makes my left eye involuntarily close like I’m having a stroke.  But it’s not a stroke.  And I love this show.

So much that I just said it for a second time.

So, again…sue me.

The ALDC finished off the event with their group routine, which coincidentally enough, ended up being based on the movie The Huntsman: Winter’s War.

What are the chances?

The choreography was great, but the second the dance started, Mackenzie’s costume exploded and there were scraps of Emily Blunt all over the stage.

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Nobody was very happy about that mess up.  It was #HeadBandGate all over again.

But they made it through and headed to the awards where—

Wait.  What?  Nia Sioux…she…it was…she had…

bangs

Outta nowhere, she showed up with…

0a92b1ba54f6ae6d8c9a3b88ccefe9a046dcc0455a40b50958edffa182a4967fMy girl put on her bangs!  We love Nia.

And we love how Twitter reacts to stuff like that.

True Fact:  Someone even sent me a DM tweet in the middle of the freakin’ night and told me to make sure I put a picture of Nia’s bangs on my site.

Do it.  Didn’t ask me to.  Just told me to do it.

So there you go, people.  Bangs.  Take that, Kendall Jenner.

Side note:  Feel free to use this kid on your next #MotivationalMonday post.

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Always do your best.  Because your best is always good enough.  #NoRegrets.

Did I forget to mention that the group dance came in Second Place?  I probably did.

So that made for two Number Two’s in two weeks.  Do the math.

Abby wasn’t happy.  But she had clearly already checked out for the week.  Possibly even for the remainder of the season.  Who knows.

Melissa had really messed with her head.

oh

Abby has a court date coming up soon for all that scandalous TMZ goodness and now she’s losing the Top Three go-tos in her support system.

This isn’t gonna end well.

But it’s over for this week at least.

No more crying.

Well, after one more group hug, I mean.

hug1Now I need to go unwind.  This was a very stressful episode.

Imma need to be alone for a few.

So, please…

the-huntsman

Dance Moms: Wassup With All These Maddie Rumors? Inquiring Minds Want To Know…She Staying Or She Going?

Wednesday, March 16th, 2016

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I know it’s very last minute, but I found you this furry thing and even one of the Jonas Brothers.

 

 

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I’m telling you right now…that kid is not going to the Award Show wearing my favorite furry vest.

 

 

purp

 

 

OMG. I’m like 11 years old. Why don’t they just glue eyes on this thing and shoot me now?

 

 

kkh

 

 

 

 

#JustStop

 

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It’s like they’re all looking at me right now. I can’t even remember what we’re talking about.

 

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I paid extra to have my name engraved, but it was worth it. Purell your hands before you touch it.

 

eye2

 

 

 

And make sure to give them all Face like “Bitch, I know you’re jealous of my Eyeball Jacket.”

 

 

 

Drumroll.

The envelope, please.

And the Award for the most Mama Drama goes to…

Psych.

I don’t wanna spoil it for you.

You’ll figure it out on your own soon enough, tho.  Trust me.

But first, we need to get you ready for something fancy.

Like an award show, maybe.

Because that’s exactly how this week’s Dance Moms started out….in full-on pre-show mode with Abby, Melissa and Maddie getting their hair did and their faces Beat to the Gawdz for the upcoming People’s Choice Awards.

mmWell…ok…that’s a lie.

The show actually started with this wide shot:

signsThink those signs are big enough?

Then we went into hair and makeup, because Maddie had been nominated for a 2016 PCA in the “Seriously Popular” category along with some other people who were also in the category.  I forget who exactly, but Melissa ran through the list of names on her iPhone while the camera zoomed in on all this tasty goodness…aa1I see what you did there, Mr. CameraGuy.

married-to-medicine-season-2-quad-201#ShadyBoots.

Since Mackenzie was back in Pittsburgh performing with the original ALDC squad this week, Melissa had given Abby 2 tickets to tonight’s award show, but nobody knew who her Mystery Date was going to be for the evening.  Even when pressed by Melissa, Abby wouldn’t give up any details on a potential escort.

Side note:  I’ve said it before, but still.tumblr_o43kj5nX7S1tb8iyko2_500

mw-dc905_trump_20150108160332_zhSeparated at Birth, or nah?

Even my MomCrush Jill had to bow to the awesomeness of Abby’s spray tan this week.

Flashback:  Remember when all the Toddlers & Tiaras kids used to get hosed down on the kitchen table while they’re brothers were sitting there in the overspray just trying to eat their cereal?  I loved that show.

And speaking of probably violating at least one city ordinance or fire code…the ALDC LA studio was busting at the seams with Dance Moms this week.  They were everywhere.

The Mini Moms were finally back (…minus two of the blond ones who took their kids and hit the road back to wherever…) as well as all the original full-size Moms.

Disclaimer:  I said full-size, not full-figure.  Relax, people.

And there was even a new Mom on the scene this week.

Meet Jeannie and her trifecta of tiny dancers.

31Kaylee, Rihanna and Coco.  11, 9 and 7 respectively.

I’m assuming they were either personally called and invited to the ALDC or were drawn in by those gigantic window signs.  I’m not sure.  But there they were, regardless.

So now, not only did we finally meet a 7 year old child named Coco, but the Mini Team was potentially back up to its full 6 member headcount again.

That’s right.  Abby was going to have the oldest girl, Kaylee, dance with the tater tots.

Which made Kaylee get all like ‘Excuse Me?’

duh …because she usually gets paid for babysitting, thank you.

Duh.

Oh.  And Peyton‘s Mom already knew Jeannie.  Because of course she did.

And she already wasn’t a big fan, which caused Kerri to make the same face she made when she refused to believe that any woman in the building could afford that quilted Chanel bag sitting behind her head.  As if.

chanelGossip Dept.:  Every major CVS rag on the rack had recently published stories about Maddie leaving the ALDC to pursue other interests, but Melissa was refusing to acknowledge the articles or discuss the situation with any of the Moms.

But, of course, that didn’t stop Ashlee from asking about it anyway.

Melissa did this a lot this week.

mzsmStill in curlers, Abby rushed through the Pyramid of Shame so she and the Zs could head off to the Awards for some free swag and appetizers.

Bottom Row:  Mackenzie, Kalani, JoJo and Nia.

Psych #2.  Abby moved Nia’s photo up one row, which caused Nia to make this face.

2015-08-10-1439188332-2404835-willisI mean, this face.

niaWhatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Miller?

Middle Row:  Kendall and Brynn, followed by Maddie on Top.

This week, the gang was headed to Placentia, CA for the Dream Dance Competition.

The new & improved Minis would be performing a group routine entitled ‘The Monsters,’ while the Big Girls would be circling overhead just like ‘The Vultures’ Abby thinks they are some times.  And Maddie got a solo.  Because Maddie.  ‘The Peoples Choice…Or Not?’

With their Uber already waiting outside to take them downtown, Abby tracked down Brynn in that freaky back storeroom and asked her if she wanted to go to the awards.

This face, tho.

bWhat do you think, lady?

Bonus Points:  To both Abby, for somehow finding an entire last minute Muppet-inspired outfit in Brynn’s size just hanging on a rack and to that random Boy Toy assistant who looked like whichever Jonas Brother it is that always works out, who kept walking in and out of the shot carrying what appeared to be a deli sandwich all wrapped to-go.

I don’t even understand this show anymore.

amPsych #3:  Hope Brynn didn’t cut the tags off that outfit, cuz she ain’t going anywhere.

It was a mess.

The other Moms took offense to Abby asking Brynn first instead of one of the other girls.

Which made Ashlee mad.

Which got Jill mad.

To nip it in the bud, Abby asked Kendall and Kalani if they wanted to go in Brynn’s place, but neither of them were touching that one with a ten foot pole.  Kudos for having the maturity to not take food right out of the mouth of your new little dance friend, girls.kk

Somehow when the dust settled, it ended up that Jill was going to the awards instead, even though she had nothing to wear.

Again…as if.

Deep down, I’ve always believed that everything Jill wears is actually velcro rip-away stuff that’s hiding something sequined underneath just in case anything like this ever happens to come up at the last minute and she finally gets that call from Dancing With The Stars.

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I know, right?  Iconic.

Eventually, everyone pig-piled on top of each other and nobody ended up going with Abby.

Nobody.

Jill wasn’t going to steal a little girl’s ticket.  Ashlee wasn’t going to let her baby girl get bulldozed by anyone.  Holly couldn’t believe we were still talking about this same issue 30 minutes later.  And then I did the math and realized that I could have just taken the last ticket and saved everyone alot of grief.  Thanks for nothing, ladies.

Fast forward:  And the Winner is…Maddie Ziegler!!  Our girl won!!

OMG.  Like Seriously Popular.pca

The next day, Team Ziegler was back and telling all their exciting celebrity stories.

pca2Melissa even brought the trophy to work and put it in Holly’s spot.

awWould you mind just scooting down a little bit so my baby’s trophy can get the good light?

tumblr_nnwi1dEwiN1tb8iyko1_500Side note:  I’m starting to love that clip almost as much as I love Holly.

After allowing everyone to touch the award like it was some religious artifact from the Holy People’s Choice Land, Melissa finally put it down and we got to watch the girls rehearse.

Srsly.  How adorbz were those little fur coats?  Even before they hot glued all the roly-poly craft store hilarity onto the fur?  I mean, c’mon.

eye1Spoiler Alert:  Why are there only three kids in that picture?

Clearly, the only person who wasn’t loving the purple fur…other than the guy they had to hunt down on Sesame Street for his pelt and eyeballs, of course…

purple4…was Kaylee, who rolled her still attached eyes and (…allegedly…) copped an attitude.

Mom immediately sat her down for the 411.

Apparently, Kaylee felt that the dance was for babies.  Too young.  Too cheeky.  And why would anyone above the age of 10 want to pretend to be a monster and be all like…

monsterI dunno, honey.  Why don’t we ask this lady when she’s done cashing in all her millions?

giphyYaaaaaaaas, Gaga.

Q.  And didn’t Brooke Hyland dance with Minis even when she was old enough to date boys and take a pie in the face?  Wasn’t she like 27 and still stepping on Mackenzie Boo back in the day?  Gah.  We miss those Hylands.

Take a bow, kids.  XOXO

giphy-2

With barely a day to go before the competition, all the Moms were out back by the dumpster (…cuz that’s where all the good trash gets talked…) dishing the dirt about Jeannie and her kids and…of course…the dreaded Social Media.

Yup.  Turns out that Jeannie had smack talked Abby and the ALDC crew online, calling them out for unprofessionalism and bad behavior and a stressful work environment and all the regular stuff you always put on social media when your boss rubs you the wrong way.

Mmmm.  Do tell.

smedia

#StrongKidsWalkAway.  She actually wrote that.

Yikes.

h1Probably not the best time for Jeannie & Co to roll up in their Escalade to announce that they were quitting the team already.

Side note:  Was it my TV or was Jessalynn talking really loud this week?  Cuz my ears…

I heart her, tho.  Here she is being loud again.

Stop it.  No…you stop it.

jsShort version:  Abby saw the social media posts and threatened to sic one of her 143 libel lawyers on Jeannie, who threw Chloe‘s name into the mix just to get everyone wound up.

Kudos to Melissa for standing up for the Lukasiaks and making it clear that Jeannie didn’t know the whole back story.

And then they were gone.

I guess Kaylee was off to do something better that didn’t involve scary faces and purple fur that watches you wherever you go in the room.

Art-MUI mean, really.  How creepy were all those coats hanging behind Maddie?  Go back up and look at that picture again.  I wouldn’t be able to sleep with those things in the house.

With the Mini roster completely cut in half, Abby scrambled the girls into a Trio and then snatched two random ALDC hip hop girls who happened to be walking by and signed them up to do a Duet at the last minute.  Sometimes panic brings out the best in everyone.

Finally, it was Showtime!

And Hat Day at the judges’ table.  You see that?  On point, boys.

Jill asked Melissa one more time if Maddie was sticking around or not, to which Melissa replied “As of right now”…which could either mean she’ll finish the dance, the season or this week’s episode.  Who knows.

But her solo was awesome.

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And they were barely done raving about it when the two surprise hip hop girls showed up backstage for some healthy competition.  And most of Abby’s attention.hh

Look at Brynn.  She totally knew what was about to hit the hip hop fan.b3

Needless to say, Kerri didn’t like that…at all.  So she made this face again.  chanel

But in a different outfit.

kr

And on steroids.

Kerri wanted her daughter to get some attention.  And respect.  And now.

Abby knew what she was doing.  She’d done it before, right?  We even got to see Chloe in an Amber Alert’ flashback to prove her point about healthy competition!

Hey, Boo!  Miss you more!

cm

And then it got louder.

Abby yelled.  Kerri yelled.  Peyton cried.  Rinse & Repeat.

Yell at my kid one more time.  You’re the people I don’t want in my studio.  You’re the culture.  Yell at my kid one more time.  I can get louder.

It was getting ugly.  And even louder.

 All Holly could think about was how good the coffee was…

hf…and the Bronx.

Bronx-ny-postcard

Where this happened.  Remember?
dance-moms-fightThey cut out this part since there were Minis in the room…

tumblr_n0w5c8WCiY1ql5yr7o2_250And they even cut out this part from when it aired overseas and somebody had to subtitle Holly when she was freaking out…

God Bless the Internet.  I even love Holly in Portuguese.

Luckily, it didn’t escalate to Kelly 2.0 and the show went on after all.

True Fact:  The pep talk between the 3 Minis was probably the best part of the whole episode.  Those kids are hilarious.  Face.  Give them Face.  Give them pre-school Face.

We got this.

Stop it.  I just can’t.

jsBoth the Mini Duet and Mini Trio went off without a hitch.  The Trio really stepped it up at the last minute, despite all the Mama Drama right before they went onstage.

Side note:  I really wanted to point out that one of the Minis has the most amazing calf muscles for such a teenie weenie, but it sounds way more unintentionally creepy when I say it out loud…so never mind.

The Big Girls were off the chart, too.

tumblr_o43kljnHEc1tb8iyko1_500

All the flashbacks this week made me recall those dime store costumes and Crayola makeup jobs the Moms used to have to do on their kids mugs.  They’ve certainly come a long way since digging through that ratchet ALDC tutu store.

After a quick power point lesson on the mating rituals and survival techniques of Vultures (…Aegypius Monachus…) by Dr. Holly, it was time to hand out some awards.

Which the ALDC scooped up like those afore mentioned scavenging birds.

Mini Duet took First Place.  Mini Trio snagged Second Place.  And the Big Girls brought home another First Place trophy to put next to Melissa’s People’s Choice Award.

Which brought everyone back to the same old question one more time?

‘Sup with Maddie now?

mdHmmm.

Rumors?  Go figure.

Maybe next week.

Or not, I guess.

mz


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